Day 26

Twenty-six days without beer, pizza, cheese, bread with cheese, cheese with bread, pizza, or beer. Or chocolate! I’m doing it!

And it hasn’t even been hard! This round of Whole30 has been unbelievably easy compared to the last two tries. The first two times I did it I was DYING for sugar frequently and probably ate too many dates. I haven’t had a single date this time and my desire for sugar has been minimum. I have really been missing cheese though and specifically pizza. I’ve had pizza dreams on multiple nights.

I think that the heat and stress of work are also helping. I often feel so hot when I get home that I don’t even want to eat because I would have to move from in front of the fan. I’ve been so freaked out over preparing for an audit hearing this week (and yeah, we are getting audited!) that I just felt consistently nauseated over it. So, that’s been fun.

Other than this hearing drama this week, I have overall been in a better mood and had more energy. Getting back into the habit of going to OTF and avoiding sugar has been amazing for my overall anxiety level. I also don’t wake up in the middle of the night in a panic that I’m going to gain 50 pounds because I just keep emotionally eating crap without abandon (even though I have total control of this, I would still wake up as if it was happening to me from some outside force).

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I have made it to OTF at least three times a week about which I feel really proud. I am finally at the point where I don’t have to fight with myself about it all day. I just know that I’m going and that’s it. I will keep doing strict Whole30 for at least a few more weeks until I (hopefully) go enjoy a brewery jaunt with friends. I plan to continue avoiding dairy and sugar (sugar for a long time, dairy at least until September when I go on a little trip in an area that has a lot of really great cheeses around…).

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That GIF seriously made my heart beat faster. CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE. In super great news, I FINALLY had my appointment this week to see what the heck is going on with my bod. I am off Prednisone for now, so woohoo on that. I get a Holter Monitor soon to see if my heart is actually being as weird as it feels. After that, I will get a bunch of blood tests based on what is or isn’t going on. Things are happening! And hopefully I won’t be too achy between now and the time we figure out this out.

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Not Not Treating Myself

The best thing about summer on campus (besides the lack of faculty and students) is that we have “summer hours.” In order to save energy, the campus shifts from an 8 am -5 pm day to a 7:30 am -4 pm schedule with a 30 minute lunch break for staff (what is a lunch break?). The A/C turns off of at four, so that is a big motivator to get out of there ASAP. My schedule doesn’t really change when my boss is in town (6:30 am – whenever he gets tired of being here), but when he is traveling I try my best to take what I can to do at home and get the hell out of dodge around four.

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It is the most splendidly luxurious feeling in the world to leave work at four!! I can’t even describe it. This week has been amazing because my boss has been traveling for work, so I’ve been leaving right when that A/C turns off. I’ve been taking advantage of not being at work until 8 pm by going to an early evening Orange Theory class. I usually try to make the 5 am class, but that has been increasingly hard since I’m not getting to bed early enough to wake up at 4:30 am. Obviously, I can wake up at 4:30 am if I’m really motivated, but since I’m never motivated to exercise, doing everything I can to make easy is paramount. So, the evening class is working out so far even though I can barely walk from soreness.

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That Orange Theory is NO JOKE. They really get you to hustle. The other positive to evening workouts is that I can go home and shower then have hours to cool down before bed. Since we are trying not to use our A/C, it’s not really cool and refreshing in the house when I get out of the shower in the morning after a sweaty workout. So, I put on on clothes while I’m still overheated and thus start my day HATING EVERYTHING.

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Whole30/60/whatever is coming along pretty well. I’m on day 11 and I’ve only had one moment of feeling like I would just DIE if I didn’t eat something. I set myself up for it because I went to a See’s Candies to get some gifts (they have the BEST peanut brittle ever) and I then spent the day with bags of chocolate, English toffee, peanut brittle, and truffles at my desk (because it all would have melted in the car). I spent ALL day thinking about how wonderfully tasty all of those things were. Thankfully, I survived and managed to get the treats in boxes and mailed out without consuming any of it. It felt like a miracle.

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No, Aziz. That’s how I got here. So, things are going well and I’ve been exercising consistently and not eating my feelings which always feels like an outstanding achievement.

Whole30, Again

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’ve been eating all of my feelings, thoughts, emotions, and grievances. Just FOOD all the time. And lots of beer. And I have felt like GARBAGE because of it.

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Before I left for Texas, I also had a weird reaction to beer that weirded me out. Certain red wines give me a rash on my upper torso and neck depending on where they are from, but it never itches or actually bothers me. After about a week of drinking beer every night, I developed a rash from it that itched and was puffy. From my cheeks down to my middle back was covered in puffy splotches. I’ve never had that happen with beer before, but my doctor said it was probably a reaction to yeast after consuming it for so many days straight. What makes me saddest is that it was after drinking a Green Flash IPA (which I have had MANY times since returning from San Diego), and now I worry about having it again.

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So, as I promised myself in May, I started Whole30 on Sunday. So, goodbye for now, breads and beer.

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I already feel better and I’m looking forward to trying a couple of new recipes this weekend. I am going to work on branching out more this round now that I know I can survive it. I am also aiming to do a Whole60 (60 days of it) because I don’t feel that 30 days was really enough time to break my desire for candy, cheese, and beer when stressed. I just fell right back into that lifestyle when I was done.

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That present will be the lack of indigestion and headache I have while on Whole30.

In exercise news, I’m aiming to make it to Orange Theory at least three times a week with the hope of exercising a total of four days a week (whether it’s running or OTF). I went to OTF on Monday morning and yesterday morning before work, so I am on track for this week!

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I am also still going to acupuncture. I think I’ve been about ten times now, and I it has really helped me with migraines. I have headaches from poor eating, but I haven’t had a migraine in six weeks! It’s also been great with lower back pain. Between my chiropractor and acupuncturist, my back has been feeling totally pain free most days. It’s a damn miracle. I also stated before that acupuncture was relaxing, but that is no longer the case. The needles are now turned after they are stuck in me and DEAR GOD that is not fun. I have the hardest time with my middle back and lower legs because it always gives me a painful jolt. I swear that this would be a great way to torture terrorists. The pain subsides quickly, but I now feel uncomfortable throughout the process (no more napping). Otherwise, I feel like it’s also helping my anxiety (I feel calmer), so I hope that with Whole30 that I can keep moving toward feeling less unhinged. And I see a rheumatologist later this month, so I should be off of Prednisone soon! It’s all coming together and it’s going to be a fun healthy summer.

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Climb Every Mountain

I am super proud of myself because I had an especially productive weekend despite my overwhelming desire to lay around and do nothing for two whole days. Laziness is such a demon and all I want to do is give into it and NAP ALL DAY.

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Last week was a mess because we had several large PRAs to deal with and we still don’t have the plans for our spring graduation ceremonies solidified (we have to change venues because the arena we have been using is closed now), and EVERYONE is pissed. Rightfully so, because graduation is in two months, but it’s been stressful trying to manage all of the unhappy parents and students and work with the potential venue to get the contract finalized. Anyway, I was mentally fried by Friday night, but I fought my inner napper and went to the grocery store, then went home and made a few Whole30 recipes to freeze.

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I woke up Saturday morning to conquer 14 miles. I was not looking forward to it at all because my last few long runs have been painful and crappy. I was determined to get more elevation this time because the Big Sur Marathon has a gain of 2,182 feet and a loss of 2,528 feet. So, getting up and down hills during training is a high priority.

My greatest elevation gain so far has been a total of 985 feet with the tallest climb being roughly 425 feet. This is from my 12 mile run last week:

I thought that hill was so HUGE. Then, I looked at the course map and realized that there was an even bigger monster looming mid-race:

I remembered passing a road on my last run that seemed to go up a large hill, so I decided to turn down that this time and see what I could find. I found Mount Everest.

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That’s a slight exaggeration, but it felt enormous when I was going up it. I tried to run for a minute then walk for about 10-20 seconds so I wouldn’t die, but it was tough even walking at some points. I threw up twice (which is obviously preferable to other other side of stomach distress), and I actually felt much better after that. I can’t imagine why (I didn’t eat anything abnormal on Friday or that morning) other than my body thought I was dying and freaked out. It took me almost an hour and a half to go seven miles which was super depressing, but I made it up that thing.

As you can see, the climb in the middle made my other HUGE HILL look like I went over a speed bump. Overall, I got 1,776 of climbing and 1,762 feet of descending in and I am happy about that. My overall pace was 12:05 per mile which is not preferable, but it is surprising considering how much I had to walk or totally stop to catch my breath. I don’t stop my watch when I stop to stretch or rest to make sure that I’m capturing the entire time it’s taking me. There is a course limit of six hours at Big Sur, and they are cutting people off who haven’t made it past mile 21.2 by 11:50 am (the five hour mark). I am super anxious about this because my only marathon time was 4:51:46 and that was on the super flat course at Chicago. My ability to get through such a hilly course in an expedient manner is worrying me a lot, but I am doing my best to be prepared. I’ll keep adding elevation as my mileage increases, and I hope that I will be as prepared as I can be on race day.

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After I got back home, I showered, then spent the rest of the day packing. We don’t actually move for three more weeks, but I just can’t handle last minute anything. I don’t know how people pack the day before they move. I would be a psycho. I got my room as packed as it can be for now and started on the kitchen. I have way too much stuff, but I just can’t bear to part with so much of it because WHAT IF I NEED IT???

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On Sunday, I woke up and went to work for most of the day. People often ask me if it bothers me to work on weekends. It honestly doesn’t because my boss is so supportive of us (Lisa and me) taking time off and he never makes us feel like we need to come in when we have weekend plans. There is only one time when I changed my plans because we were dealing with some drama, but it was my decision because I wanted to be there to support the team. While laying on the couch is always my top priority, I never mind working late or on weekends because my boss is so supportive of my time off.

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He also asked me on Sunday what my goals for the marathon are (he used to run marathons in three hours because he is A CRAZY PERSON) and when I told him “to finish” he laughed like I was joking. He then asked what my goal really was and I to explain to him several times that it is honestly just to participate and finish the damn thing alive. That is it. I am thankful that my parents made me participate in sports growing up because I definitely learned how to lose and to accept that I wasn’t ever going to be the best at athletic pursuits. So, now, I can just do athletic things because I want to with no added pressure of actual performance. He doesn’t understand that because he was actually good at the things he did, but I just want to have a mostly enjoyable time then go celebrate with food.Image result for eat gif


Don’t Get Murdered

Since my 13 mile run almost two weeks ago, I have been struggling. I took four days off running last week because I had such bad shin splints that I couldn’t even walk. Damn hills!

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I am of the school of not running when feeling wounded or injured, so I took those days off and did lots of icing and stretching. The best thing I’ve ever found to help is this paper cup ice massage method. It feels so good and I can easily do it throughout the work day as needed. Thankfully, I work with people who just accept whatever odd thing I’m doing without comment when they enter my office.

I am also trying to take better preventative care of my hamstrings. They’ve been giving me problems and pain for the past couple of years, so I’ve been working with my chiropractor on stretching and foam rolling effectively. MUST SURVIVE THIS THING.

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I ran once last week, then Lindsey came and we frolicked about until Sunday. I had a 12 mile long run I was supposed to do last weekend, but I only made it eight miles on Monday because the rain was so torrential that I couldn’t see at several points. Not a good time. I went to Orange Theory on Tuesday and ran five miles last night. I am so excited to move next month because I HATE running where I live. As I’ve said before, it’s so sketchy and there are too many dudes cruising around without purpose. It’s also nowhere near a residential area, so there are miles that just go by empty and dark business areas which feels super murdery. I have even skipped a couple of runs because I get this overwhelming bad feeling about going out. I am sure that it has NOTHING to do with listening to murder podcasts on my drive home, but I figure better safe on my couch than ladynapped. As the My Favorite Murder gals say:

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Doing my best. There’s also a situation with my apartment gym because there is this creepy dude who is ALWAYS in there. And he either just sits on one of the machines or very slowly peddles the bike while he stares at the women who are working out. I warned several younger women not to go in there as I was leaving because I don’t want them murdered. What is he doing??? I reported him to the apartment complex and they said he wasn’t hurting anyone, but I just want it known that they were warned if something does happen. I’m also going to note it in my Potential Observations of Crime and Creepiness Diary in the event that it happens to me. I’m going to leave the police all the clues! Anyway, that just makes me so deeply unsettled that I have stopped going when I see he’s in there. So that basically means I can’t go in there at all because the past four times I’ve tried to use the gym he was there.

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I also started back up on Whole30 on Monday and that has been fabulous. I had so many delicious things this past weekend, but I felt awful. Getting old sucks. All I ever want to do is eat the most unhealthy thing possible, but life won’t let me. I honestly think that I could easily gain 100 pounds in less than a year if I just ate what I actually wanted to eat all of the time. And I don’t mean that in a flippant way, but I honestly think I could really gain a lot of weight easily and that is terrifying (not because I would be physically larger, but because of the health toll it takes on your body). Healthy food NEVER appeals to me even though it can actually be delicious. Whole30 is really the only thing that keeps me making healthy choices and not living my life in a vat of macaroni and cheese. Even the shittiest macaroni is better than vegetables. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

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I keep thinking I’ll grow up one day and develop an adult palate and actually think quinoa is exciting, but one of my coworkers told me that he’s 55 and still spends most of his time thinking about when he can next eat some Oreos without his wife knowing. Soooooo, I guess that’s not going to happen. Anyway, Whole30 works for me because I am definitely an all or nothing person and moderation has no place in my life. It’s super annoying, but I guess I just need to accept this about myself. Here’s to healthy choices!

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