WTF Wednesday

I got super annoyed when I was hiking back to the parking lot on Saturday because almost every group I passed had their phone blasting music. I hate that this is a thing now. It already annoys me in public places and on the street (KEEP YOUR MUSIC TO YOURSELF), but I don’t care to hear Calvin Harris blasting through the great outdoors.

Image result for no thank you gif

I was in the post office the other day and some guy was just blaring music while looking at his phone. I had to leave because I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown over it. I feel the same way about people who just look at their phone while it is ringing, or choose not to answer it but keep letting it blast their All The Single Ladies ringtone. Stop the noise while you decide if you want to talk to your mom or not you masochist! Or when a phone is vibrating like crazy on a table during a meeting and the person just looks at it. Vibrate is NOT SILENCE.
Image result for stop the noise gif

I also realize that this is a lot of just overly delicate me issues here, but I find noise (and light) to be so jarring and distracting at times that I don’t feel like I can function. Also, what kind of person just assumes everyone wants a shared music experience with them? Extroverts I bet.

I was reviewing a travel reimbursement request the other day where someone had ordered an egg white omelet that cost $18. EIGHTEEN DOLLARS for something without a yolk! What. Are. You. Thinking.

Image result for good lord gif


When I was training for the Chicago Marathon in 2011, I bought five pairs of Moving Comfort briefs. They never rode up anywhere, they had a mesh panel that providing some cooling, and they were super comfortable. I’ve worn one pair of those briefs every single time I have worked out since I purchased them. After six years of steady and hard labor, they’ve started to fall apart over the past few months. I went online to buy some replacements and learned that not only does Moving Comfort now belong to Brooks, but they no longer make the underwear! And I can’t find it anywhere online. I AM DEVASTATED. There were even my travel underwear of choice because they dried super quick in the event that I had to desperately do some sink laundry. Rest in piece, perfect undies.

Image result for moving comfort briefs

So, now the real question, anyone have any recommendations for workout undies that are breathable, don’t ride up, and dry quickly? Price is no object for the perfect undies!

WTF Wednesday

I got to Orange Theory (OTF) early the other night and there was a new lady getting checked in. The trainer was going through some questions with her in order to assess her fitness level before giving her an orientation on the equipment. The woman haughtily announced that she works with a private trainer three days a week and they do “everything,” so she doubted that OTF would be challenging for her and she already knew how to do everything. She was only there because her friend “begged her to go with her.” She was being condescending and snotty to the trainer, so I immediately wished bad things upon her because I’m a cruel and petty person.

Image result for petty gif

She was also in full makeup with her hair down which is baffling in itself. HOW DO YOU EXERCISE WITH YOUR HAIR DOWN??? And doesn’t your skin feel disgusting with your makeup melting down it?? I know I’m a sweaty lady, but there is NO ONE in those OTF classes who isn’t drenched by the time it’s over. I’ve talked about this before, but I don’t understand how someone can exercise with their hair just bouncing around everywhere. A single tiny piece that comes out of a bobby pin can drive me batshit in .002 seconds. How can you stand it??

Image result for i don't get it gif

Anyway, we started the class and it was a tornado workout. We spent a few minutes at each station (treadmill, weights, rower), then switched. Over and over for an hour. It was constant movement and it was hard. Much to my delight, around the 20 minutes mark Ms. Fitness America was laying on the floor gasping for breath. Then after 30 minutes she left the studio and sat outside until it was over.

Image result for how bout them apples gif

It filled me with glee that it was so hard for her. It is hard. That is the point. Anyway, I know it’s totally mean to revel in someone else’s misery, but don’t be a jerk.

Alan has really settled into his new life. I thought he was such a friendly and low-key fella, but I am now seeing the real Alan. He clearly went to the Bardot school of being a punk. I am doomed to owning bitchy pets in poor health. He bit my chin the other night because I dared to break eye contact with him while I was petting him. He bites my leg when I don’t immediately pet him when he lays down. He currently enjoys crawling up on my headboard, then launching all 16 pounds of his fat body down on me while I am asleep. And he keeps trying to eat my phone charging cord. I love him, but he’s being a pill.

I usually keep his food bowl full because, unlike Bardot, he casually munches throughout the day and doesn’t feel the need to frantically gobble up every single food that exists all at once. He looked like he had plenty of food when I went to bed the other night, but I guess he got hungry and ate it all. Around 3 am I heard the loud clanging of metal on metal. I turned on my lamp and good ol’ Alan was just sitting there popping his metal bowl up with his paw and letting it clang back down in it’s metal holder. While staring at me. I’m not sure about this cat. He was also diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection which means I get to shove pills down his throat which is not good for any of us. Have you ever heard a cat cough? It is weird.

For the sake of those who lost loved ones at Sandy Hook, please do not watch Megyn Kelly’s interview with Alex Jones. He is a monster and an opportunist. Trump has already given this idiot too much attention, but I hope that by not watching then we can make sure that NBC’s desperate and disgusting ploy for ratings fails.

Image result for sandy hook victims

Additionally, Alex Jones, the degree to which you are attracted to her and your perception of her femininity have nothing to do with her job. Gross.

WTF Wednesday

I took myself to see Wonder Woman on Monday night and I LOVED IT. I don’t typically watch many superhero movies, but I had to give my money to this one. I started crying almost immediately when they showed Themyscira. I could watch endless movies about the lives of the Amazons. They were so badass.

Image result for wonder woman gif 2017

I wish the movie had more Diana and Etta, and that Diana could have explored what it meant to come from a world where women had power then enter a society where they had no voice at all. I was somewhat miffed that Steve got so much character development and plot because he was almost a competing main character. Ladies don’t get that in the male superhero movies, so BOOOOO on that. I guess they had to be careful not to offend the delicate man egos. Anyway, MORE ETTA.

Image result for wonder woman gif etta

I also laughed really hard at the person they showed in the cave who had a mustache. The mustache was RIDICULOUS in that context.

While the movie was great, my theater experiences was somewhat tainted by the MEN who were sitting on both sides of me. One of them made comments throughout the entire movie and the other had the loudest snacks on earth. At different points in the movie they both spent a good amount of time explaining World War II to the ladies who were with them. The movie is set during World War I. If you don’t see Nazis or hear mention of Japan, then IT IS NOT WORLD WAR II. It’s super simple. The clothes should have been a big enough clue, but alas, mansplaining knows no logic. I told them it was World War I once the movie was over because I was so irritated, and one of the guys rolled his eyes at me. Whatever, stupid. I know it’s hard for my little lady brain to understand history, but I do try real hard.

Image result for wonder woman gif 2017

One of my high school classmates plays an Amazon in the movie, and she wrote a post about how much it meant to her and how proud she was of the film. She received this response (from a guy, of course):

Image result for eye roll gif

For one, you’re watching a movie about a woman with super powers. You need to adjust your expectations of reality period. Two, I don’t see any complaints about how unrealistic Steve is. He’s handsome, charming, funny, self-deprecating, loyal, respectful, smart, looks dashing in a turtleneck, and is endlessly brave. WHERE IS THAT PERFECT MAN, HUH???

Image result for steve wonder woman gif

I hate that he felt the need to shit on her post with that nonsense. Anyway, it’s super cool that she was involved and here she is (standing) in the film!! Yeah, Morgan!

I approved a travel request this week for a faculty member to go map ophiolite (an igneous rock) through a section of the Alps for two months. I made bad career choices.

Image result for alps gif

Earlier this week, I received a three page letter with a litany of inane complaints (“I get here five minutes before class and can’t find parking. This is unacceptable.”). The person stated multiple times that they could not share their identity because it wouldn’t be “safe.” I get a lot of anonymous letters of complaint, so it wasn’t a surprising development. Unfortunately, when I looked at the envelope the poor pumpkin had written their full name and address in the return field.

Image result for bless your heart gif

WTF Wednesday

I have been drinking SO MUCH sweet tea this week. California sweet tea is a CRIME against tea. They either pour sugar into cold tea (where it doesn’t dissolve and makes a nasty sludge at the bottom) or pump some kind of atrocious sugar syrup into it. COLD. You cannot make sweet tea with cold tea. YOU CANNOT. I also frequently get served hot tea when I order tea. I am eating pizza and it’s 100 degrees outside, you get the hell out of here with that hot tea. MONSTERS. Anyway, I have been inhaling Bush’s Chicken half and half tea like a fiend.

I also took a tumble last Friday after the beer fest. You might think it was because I had too much to drink, but I usually trip going down the stairs on Tracy’s sidewalk. As you can see, that bottom step is undersized.

Anyway, I fell slipped right off it and Tracy decided to sit be me to offer her support.

I probably shouldn’t drink at all ever because I can barely manage to walk when totally sober in the broad daylight. Oh well, nothing was broken and I’m minimally bruised.

We were watching Pearl Harbor the other night and when Kate Beckinsale came on the screen my dad said, “She was a bit of a one hit wonder, huh?” I responded that she’s been in a lot of stuff since that movie, and my dad said, “Narrating documentaries?” What? Such judgement.

My aunt and uncle came to lunch on Monday, and we were talking about my sister’s ongoing commitment to being a vegan (this is still a very troubling development for my family). My uncle then told us a story of some work he did for a woman who wouldn’t eat anything that “cast a shadow.” What does that mean?? Everything can cast a shadow. Clouds cast a shadow! Even water casts a shadow. I get not eating anything with a face, but basically EVERYTHING that exists can cast a shadow. And does that mean it casts a shadow in its original form (like a bean plant) or in it’s edible form (just a bean)? Either way, both can cast a shadow. So, if you better understand this concept, PLEASE help me because I don’t get it at all.

And because it wouldn’t be a WTF Wednesday without some Donald tomfoolery, the Trump campaign announced a subscription box this week full of bigly items. I shit you not – the first box is called “The Big League Box” and it’s $69. I would rather burn my money. This can’t be real, right?

WTF Wednesday

Dear Donald, the people who bombed a concert filled with children and teenagers are far more than “losers.” For reference, Donald has also called Mark Cuban and Rosie O’Donnell losers. This is our president, y’all!

Additionally, Israel is in the Middle East you STUPID IDIOT. I wonder if the people of the Wharton School of Business die a little inside every time he speaks. He is an insult to the education he received there.

The Public Service Student Loan Forgiveness Program continues to have an uncertain future. Obviously, this is terrifying for me personally, but over 400,000 people are enrolled in this program. Again, I understand that I took out the loans and I am responsible for repaying them, but a lot of people have made significant career decisions based on the promises of this program. It is unconscionable that the government is planning on cutting it. It is also upsetting to see such deep cuts to federal work-study programs because guess where those kids will have to make up the difference? LOANS YOU ASSHOLES.

Image result for go and fuck yourself gif


Image result for let it burn gif

There is a LOT going on right now, so stay informed and don’t lose track of all of this bullshit. Massive cuts to social programs. Russian interference in the election. David Clarke. The health care bill. Comey. The FAKE NEWS at Fox News regarding the conspiracy surrounding the murder of Seth Rich. And Richard Collins III, a student at Bowie State University, who was murdered by a member of the racist Facebook group “Alt-Reich: Nation.”

Image result for richard collins iii

Don’t ever forget that white nationalism is alive and well (and thriving – thanks, Trump!) in America today.

Also, Mayor Landrieu of New Orleans recently gave an important speech regarding the removal of the Confederate monuments and statues in New Orleans. I’ve already spent far too much time arguing with people about why the existence of statues for a losing side is completely absurd (without even getting into the nightmarish legacy and history that they represent), but he makes some excellent points that you can use in your arguments for their removal.

The historic record is clear: the Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, and P.G.T. Beauregard statues were not erected just to honor these men, but as part of the movement which became known as The Cult of the Lost Cause. This ‘cult’ had one goal — through monuments and through other means — to rewrite history to hide the truth, which is that the Confederacy was on the wrong side of humanity.