Magnificent Men of Monday

I recently started watching “The Fall” with Jamie Dornan, and while I was previously giving him side-eye over this terrible 50 Shades business, he’s so pretty. I cannot wait for the next season.

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15 Thing Friday

1.  There are now birthday cake M&Ms.

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They taste like you have a mouthful of regular M&Ms mixed with that weird aftertaste/coating you get from eating a bunch of sprinkles by themselves (do not even pretend you’ve never had a mouthful of sprinkles. Just don’t.). I didn’t care for them. I mean, I ate them, but I didn’t love every second of it.

2. I had lunch recently at Twisted Root Burger Company which is a new place close to the university. My burger was beyond tasty and the sweet potato chips are the best I’ve ever had.

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3. Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Squad is back on and I’m so happy. I just love that Vivian so much, I’m going to be hysterical if she doesn’t make it this time. I love it so much.

4. I’m re-reading “Gone With the Wind” and every time I read it I wonder why I ever read anything else. SUCH DRAMA.

Feel that, gurl.

5. This cat pretty much sums up my feelings about this week:

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Everything has been a mess. I give up.

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Summer of George

A couple of weeks ago I had a full blown panic attack because I realized that the end of August is when training begins for the Shiner Half in November (and this year I will run it because I have a hotel room with Maria, so the chances that I will oversleep are none). I haven’t been running much at all since ZOOMA half in April, then I did practically nothing at all in June (’cause I’m lazy), and then I really didn’t do anything after Caroline’s accident. I spent most of my time like this:

george-eatingand this:

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The thought of going to the gym and seeing all those cheerful healthy people was more than I could handle at the time and running outside is just a big fat no until October. So, I just kept wallowing in my misery and cookie crumbs. Thankfully (depending on how you look at it), I don’t have a choice because of the half marathon. So, after much careful cogitation,

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I decided to get it together and start exercising again. If I expand my clothes won’t fit and I’m too lazy to buy new ones, so I’ll probably get fired for going to work half-naked. And I’m pretty sick of having heartburn and indigestion all the time. Toting Alka-Seltzer around can be a real pain. This is especially true when a packet of them falls out of your bag and someone hands you back your “condom” only to be told it’s actually Alka-Seltzer tablets.

Furthermore,  I just want to be prepared in case someone needs me for some professional supermodeling.

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It could happen. I might grow five more inches, lose 50 pounds, and buy new cheekbones. IT HAPPENS.

Anyway, I started running again and it actually hasn’t been bad at all. I’ve been able to run three or four miles consistently which has been a pleasant surprise (I was pretty sure I wouldn’t make it half a mile). I met back up with my long-lost personal trainer on Tuesday and established some goals and a plan. So, hopefully I’m can start moving away from this:

And feeling more of this:

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Here’s to pants that fit and a modicum of success come November.

TL;DR: I’m running again. George Costanza.

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WTF Wednesday

At work, we have monthly appreciation parties and this month’s theme is a luau. On this one day, the emperor of us has agreed that shorts may be worn in the office as part of an appropriate Hawaii-themed outfit. My co-worker excitedly shared that she had just the perfect pair of “formal shorts” for the occasion. Then, she proceeded to call them “shor-mals.” This is why we can’t have nice things. There is no such thing as formal shorts (shorts are automatic casual attire by their very nature and I don’t care what you say) and there will certainly be no wearing of “shor-mals.”

I live to crush the dreams of my staff.

During the course of a conversation someone asked if John Hancock had signed the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution. Before anyone could answer, someone else piped up and said that they are the same thing.

If this were a person from another country, then I could totally understand the confusion. But this person was born and raised in the United States. You may not like history, but as a graduate of any junior high in America, you should at least walk away knowing that they are two separate pieces of paper.  I try to give most people a break on history because a lot of people are genuinely not into it at all, but this is not acceptable.

I have a friend who reads much of the same stuff I read. We frequently excitedly chat about what we have read and we are always on the same page about our thoughts and feelings about what those things. But, yesterday, he told me he absolutely hated a book that I had just confessed to loving more than chocolate cake donuts. I don’t know where we go from here.

Last week, I went to happy hour with some legitimately intellectual people this week and one of them said the following statement: “it contains many exegetical deviations from the original text.” That statement was followed by a deconstruction of Vedic poetry.

So, I guzzled my drink and excused myself for a refill. I contribute nothing to this world.

I yawned during an afternoon meeting and someone told me I should stop eating so many carbs at lunch.

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