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On Saturday, my sweet friend Jenifer turned the big 3-0. Welcome to the club, hooker. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we threw her a 1984-themed birthday party at her home. It’s easier to force introverts into social situations when you can just bring the party to them and trap them in it. We got things started with Mexican martinis.

So excited to turn 30. Much joy.

We were super excited that people actually dressed up. It was touch and go there for an hour. Chelsy and Matt came as Chelsy’s mom in 1984 and “The Incredible Hulk.” Chelsy is the smallest fully-grown person I’ve ever known and her mom’s outfit was snug on her. Those people are freaks of nature. And Matt is just a freak.

DSC_0572At one point she sneezed and popped a button on the pants.

Indiana Jones and his 5’11 sidekick “Short Round” showed up. We kept our hearts covered.

We also had some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (they first appeared in the comics in 1984 apparently) :

Lots of weapons at this party. Sari dressed as Atreyu from “The NeverEnding Story” which quickly became the never ending craft project as she built the jacket and necklace from scratch. Apparently it’s quite difficult to sew imitation leather upholstery fabric.

I went as Jessica Fletcher from “Murder, She Wrote” (or, “Murder, She Typed” as my friend’s husband insisted because “GUYS, SHE WAS TYPING”).  I don’t have a special picture of just myself which is the best part of being the person taking pictures: you aren’t in them!

Most people thought I was Sally Jesse Raphael or Emma Thompson dressed as a Hogwarts professor (but not Trelawny because obviously). Emma Thompson is pretty much the most flattering thing someone could be called, so I might just make that wig a permanent thing.

We also kept the tradition going with the giant donut cake from Round Rock Donuts:
Those donuts are so damn delicious. No one is ever getting a real cake again. Hyped up on sugar, we partied late into the night. Well, late until midnight, but still pretty late for us.


Happy married people:

It was a fun time, but Caroline’s absence was strongly felt. I kept waiting for her to burst through the doors with her squealing laughter. We sure miss that kid, but she was definitely there in spirit and would have been proud that we actually threw a decent party.


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One Month

A month ago we lost Caroline. I cannot believe it’s been a month. I just can’t. My heart feels so heavy and I miss her terribly. I still can’t believe it happened. I start texts to her frequently, take pictures of Bardot just to send to her (because no one understood and appreciated Bardot’s exquisite beauty as much as Caroline), and include her in our group emails. And I don’t think it’s that I forget it happened, I just choose not to remember I guess. I don’t want to remember. I enjoy that thoughtless second where I type her name in and start to write to her like it’s a normal day.  I just keeping waiting to get a text from her admonishing me for not texting her or not replying to some ridiculous photo she sent. Then I remember and the hole becomes larger.

Go hug your friends, tell them you love them, and send them a a long sappy email.


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Just keep not swimming



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WTF Wednesday

One of my young and hopeful co-workers was recently talking about how things just don’t seem to be going as he planned. He then asked what the name of the story or myth was about the person who kept waiting and hoping for things to happen, but those things never did. I told him it’s a true story and that story is called adulthood.

Welcome to the party my friend. Be prepared to part with your hopes and dreams.

I’m an old and angry lady.  Whatever.

Also, no matter how important it may seem at the time or how necessary it is for you to identify a mystery spot, never under any circumstances should you Google “spider bite.”


I’ve learned a lot about Princess Bardot over the past month. As my sister was upset, her dog put his paw on her, leaned on her, and looked at her with a genuine worry and anxiety. Bardot, on the other hand, not so much.

In the face of tragedy, Bardot continues to care only about Bardot. Never change, B. Never change. Speaking of, I left the house for a few minutes one day and forgot about my sister’s dog’s overwhelming love of snacking on thin plastic. I came home to gangsters in powdered sugar paradise.

He doesn’t want the food product, just the plastic. So, I wonder who went Pablo Escobar on it?

So happy. I didn’t have that sugar out because I needed it or anything. Apparently, frosting just makes itself in this house.


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