The last days in India were a bit of a blur. On Valentine’s day, we went to a zoo. And got interviewed about our love lives. Unsurprisingly, they news only included Janine’s segment about missing her husband. They cut the rest of us spinster hussies out of there.
We also go tangled up in a labor protest. It took us about an hour to get through all the people. Vanessa and I were fighting panic attacks the entire way, tooo many humans and tooo little air.
After sweating our way through the zoo, our host parents decided to take us out for Valentine’s Day at Villa Maya. We dressed up in our sarees and headed out.
The restaurant is a renovated palace and it was beautiful. I want to buy whoever decorated this and force them to make my future home pretty just like this.
We were floored by the prices. Considering it was one of the nicest restaurants in town, I almost had a stroke when the price of a nine ounce tenderloin was $7. SEVEN DOLLARS. Unbelievable. Jennifer got the steak and I chose chicken wrapped in pastry dough for less than $6. It was delicious.
And lobster cappuccino soup which was marvelous.
Then we had some heart-shaped dessert. So romantic.
We spent our last day in Trivandrum hanging out with our host mother and being silly. She knows how to work a bandana.
We also said goodbye to Vanessa and Yajaira who were leaving for their three week journey through India on their own. It was so weird without them. After that tearful goodbye, we spent another six hours sobbing uncontrollably as people came to bid us farewell. It sucked. At midnight we were shoved out the door and the van full of tears made its way to the airport. Fake happiness, gross hair, and lots of luggage.
I will say that I have much more appreciation for American airports now. Getting through security and checking our luggage took a million years even though there wasn’t a line. I felt like everything I did was wrong and we spent about an hour getting bounced between lines. After we had our checked bags scanned, we had to go through another security line where the lady said we only had to remove laptops before scanning. Turns out laptops actually means all electronics.
Janine and I spent about an hour watching as our backpacks were dumped out and picked through. It was slightly disconcerting as they wanted to throw away about half of our things including her $6000 camera lens because a weapon could be contained it. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. Eventually we got our things back and went through the pat down area. Full pat down on all the parts. Fun times.
Because our flight didn’t leave until 4:30 am, we got to spend some quality time together in the terminal. It’s not like the three of us hadn’t been sharing a room for three weeks already. We also enjoyed our final encounter with Indian bathrooms. In case you aren’t sure which one to use, ladies just need to locate the door with Emma Roberts on it.
All the bathrooms in the airport featured multiple pictures of her. I laughed every time. I managed to stay awake on the flight to Dubai, but was ready to pass out about four seconds after we took off for Houston. It was 10 pm in Texas, so I popped an Ambien and went to sleep.
When I woke up after seven blissful hours, I was clutching a croissant in my hand. I asked my seatmate what it was and he said “your bread.” I asked why I had it in my hand and he said “because you were eating it.” I had no idea where it came from. As it turns out, I ordered and ate an entire breakfast during my Ambien nap. Zero memory of it. He said I was awake and really excited about it. Probably not going to be taking Ambien in public again. On the bright side, I had a snack to enjoy when I woke up.
I managed to stay awake for the remaining 10 hours of the trip. As it turns out, my body has zero problem sitting in one place while watching endless movies. I saw Argo (amazinggggggg), Lincoln (again, and even better the second time), Ruby Sparks (kind of depressing), Wreck It Ralph (insert lots of tears), and Looper (meh). I also enjoyed a spectacular view of Greenland. I kept getting in trouble for opening the shade on my window, but I just couldn’t resist.
How gorgeous is that? I’ve never seen anything like that before, I was completely awestruck.
Once we landed, Jennifer and I headed toward our gate. But before we could get there, the sweet sweet smell of hamburgers stopped us dead in our tracks. So, we changed directions and headed toward hamburger heaven.
I don’t know how many kinds of wrong it is to get super excited about a Chili’s restaurant, but we were ecstatic. We started with chips, queso, and beer.
And finished with bacon cheeseburgers.
It was sooooo good. I missed you grease, I missed you so much. When we arrived in Corpus, the district governor was there to meet us. That was a bit of a surprise. He wanted to make sure Jennifer was okay and talk to us about some problems we experienced. Super nice of him. After speaking to him, my boss drove us home and gave me a gift:
Best boss ever. As soon as I got home I ran to the bathroom and enjoyed the hottest bath of my life. Bathtub, I missed you so much.
After Jennifer cleaned up, we settled down for some Thin Mints and Downton Abbey.
What is going on!!!!! I still have the last episode to watch and I am completely flummoxed by this season. Flummoxed I tell you! And I got to spend time with my fat little lady.
It was a fantastic Saturday night. It was not a fantastic Monday morning, but I’m alive and I haven’t killed anyone, so all is well.