Category Archives: Cake

The big 2-5, again

Friday marked 29 glorious years upon this blessed planet for me. Sometime,s I’m horrified that 29 years have passed so rapidly, but then I remember that it’s pretty much a damn miracle that I’ve survived this long. When I got to work on Friday morning, I was greeted by a fantastic smelling cake that one of my co-workers had very kindly made for me.

She accused me of trying to pretend it wasn’t happening because I didn’t mention it all week, but birthdays just aren’t going to be that special again until I turn 80 (because then it’s just a “Hahaha, I’m still alive and you still aren’t getting my money you greedy little bastards!!” event). Also, birthdays are very embarrassing. Everyone stares at you and I just don’t know what they expect. Especially when I have to fast for several more hours because I have to get blood drawn. So, that was a bit anti-climactic and I got to watch everyone else eat cake.

Thankfully, I was able to forgive them because they remembered to play along with the annual charade of pretending I’m turning 25. Again.

Yes, but it’s a very comfortable throne. It’s also very strange to me when people ask me what my goals are for the next year. Well, my goals don’t really change from year to year. They are pretty basic:

1. Stay alive

2. Stay employed

I feel like those aren’t overly lofty for the time being. Thankfully, I survived long enough to get my blood drawn and made it back to work in time to eat several pieces of cake and an apple for lunch (it’s all about the balance). Then, I hopped in the car and drove to Austin to pick up my sister. We celebrated my birthday with a spectacularly fancy dinner at Jimmy John’s:

They’ve really mastered the golden sandwich ratio of bread to insides (I feel like there is a term for that, but I can’t remember it at this time). After dinner, we headed to my parents for the weekend. Once there, the celebration continued with cake balls.

Please forgive my wonky hair, dark circles, messed up mascara, and super cool polo shirt (It’s our Friday work shirt which is a hell of a lot better than the windsuit that some of my fellow coworkers voted for. Other than the fact that it’s no longer 1998, we’d all be dead. Boiled to death inside of polyester death suits). 29 is off to a disheveled start.

My mom also gave me a super cute pillow with a Frenchie on it. Some would argue that it looks just like my little French fatty, but others disagree.

The weekend was perfect as we did a whole lot of nothing. Bardot got to take a ride in the Ranger and pretend she was a brave and rugged ranch dog.

Super badass right there. I also got to have dinner and yogurt with my friend Allison and her munchkin. I don’t normally care for frozen yogurt, but I found that if you pile enough candy on it, then it’s quite tasty.

Obviously, my healthy eating was right on point all weekend.

After dinner, I headed home and watched The Impossible with the family. That pretty much emotionally destroyed us for the remainder of the weekend.

I still don’t know how anyone survived that tsunami. Don’t watch that movie unless you want to cry hysterically and scream in horror for a couple of hours.

So, now I’m a year older, a few pounds heavier, and all I want to do is nap. Guess it was a successful birthday after all.

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Filed under Cake, Candy

Cuptails

On Wednesday I headed down to Austin to get the last of my travel shots. I am so glad that torture is over. Those damn things hurt. I had to get two of them in my leg over Thanksgiving and I wasn’t sure I would ever walk again. Thankfully, I recovered and lived to get stuck again on Wednesday.

I have now been successfully vaccinated against measles, mumps, rubella, polio, diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, the flu, polio, Japanese encephalitis, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, and typhoid. I also got some anti-malarial pills which means I will now be much harder to kill. Well, as soon as I finish the vaccinations against clumsiness and spastic movements.

Take that Japanese encephalitis.

After my shots I went over to see my friend Chelsy and her little man. For Christmas I bought him a set of baby musical instruments because I want her to hate me and never be my friend again. At least little man enjoyed them.

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I felt bad about the amount of noise thetoys made until I found out they had made him the Super Nerd Sensory Board.

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That thing lights up and makes noise and has all sorts of gadgets that the little science nerd of tomorrow needs to get his tiny hands on ASAP. I guess that is what you get when you come from a family of math geeks and engineers. I’ve already placed an order for one in the hope that my future children can maybe be a little more talented with the hard sciences.

While we watched munchkin test Occam’s Razor, we enjoyed the best cupcakes I have ever tasted in my life from Galaxy Cupcakes in Georgetown.

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I wasn’t sure it was possible to make cake better, but apparently it is. They went and put LIQUOR in them. Real live liquor.  I know, I was amazed too. They are called “Cuptails” and we tried the Limoncello and Bailey’s Irish Cream. They were both delicious, but the Bailey’s was my favorite.

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The chocolate cake part was impressively rich and moist (<- such an awful word) and the mint frosting was out of control. I was really confused how they go the liquor in since it isn’t baked in (meaning you can get drunk on cupcakes, my world just got way more exciting…). Turns out they whip it into the frosting and insert it into the center of the cupcake.

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It was just enough to taste it, but it wasn’t overpowering. The Bailey’s, the mint, and the chocolate combination was seriously dreamy. I just about melted into a puddle of bliss on the floor. We also tried a few of the non-alcoholic variety and they were equally delicious (especially the red velvet usually, I don’t even like red velvet and I loved this one). They are also normal sized cupcakes (as in not the size of your damn hand) which is amazing because  you can try more flavors each time!

They only make certain flavors of the “cuptails” each day, so I will be going back on New Year’s Eve to try out some different ones. I am never one to say no to a cupcake opportunity, or a cupcakotunity if you will. Anyway, if you live in the Austin area, go check them out because those cupcakes are nothing short of amazing.

All in all, it was a fantastic Wednesday, shots and all. Also, don’t forget to enter for a chance to win $100 from Cetaphil! You have to leave a comment in this post to be entered.  The sweepstakes ends Monday January 7th!

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Filed under Cake, India

Gold Star

I made it y’all. An entire weekend without sugar. I know, I’m pretty impressed too.

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I would be lying if I said it was easy. I didn’t realize the extent to which the consumption of sugar is my most favorite thing ever to do. Ever ever. I also didn’t realize how much of a habit it is. It’s just so available and even when I don’t have it in my pantry, it’s not like it takes more than a few minutes to whip up a cake or cookies or brownies. Maybe I shouldn’t keep flour in my house either.

My movie date (not a real date as he is not interested in the ladies) got Whoppers at the movie theater on Friday. I don’t even like Whoppers, but the scent of them was overwhelming. I finally threatened him in a shrill whisper to finish the damn box before things got ugly. Thankfully, he did so promptly. Sugar smells so good. So so so good. I had a contact high just from close proximity to it. Scary stuff. On Saturday night I had a disturbingly graphic dream about graham cracker toffee bark. I mean vivid. A big part of me wanted to go to the 24 hour Walmart and make that happen, but I managed to put myself back in bed and stay there.

Anyway, the point is, I didn’t make the toffee and I survived. I had a close call on Sunday when my new neighbor brought over turkey shaped sugar cookies. I stuttered and blathered on about not eating sugar and she eventually went away with her demonic treats. If I was a different person I could have saved them and brought them to my co-workers, but I’m not. I’m me and no cookie is safe here. I did enjoy some wine on Saturday night, but it was only one night and I didn’t even manage to drink the whole bottle. I call that success.

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Other than trying not to bake a billion cakes, I spent most of the weekend in my pajamas doing whatever I wanted. I got about halfway through The Last Lion and now my hands are sore from holding a real live book for so long. My Kindle has completely ruined my grip strength. I wonder how many millions have been affected by this phenomenon??

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I also found the time to catch up on 30 Rock (in case that isn’t painfully obvious) and some of my other shows. I even managed to run twice and I did 47 squats. I meant to do 50, but Bardot sneezed on my leg and I had to go get that cleaned up. My motivation was completely gone when I returned, so 47 it was.

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I know, but I don’t know what to tell you. I spent the past few days avoiding pants and sugar like they were the devil incarnate. You might not be excited, but I sure am.

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Filed under Books, Cake, Candy, Eating

Nooooooooooooovember

It is so easy to be lazy. So easy. And the more lazy I am, the more I can’t see any way out. In this instance, lazy is pretty specifically in relation to making an effort at life outside of work. For the last month or so I’ve been generally apathetic about life. Not really caring about anything. Making little effort to exercise and even less effort to eat in a healthy and consistent manner. Just couldn’t be bothered to care. Last week it all came to a head and I felt like I was on the precipice of just giving up (not doing anything deadly, just really committing to not caring about my body). And I was sad.

On Halloween night I laid in bed completely and totally ill. I actually thought I might die at several points because my stomach hurt so badly. Despite the fact that eating an insane amount of candy and chocolate had led to said death-like state, my brain was still doing this:

I was laying there with my fingers and lips covered in Tums dust, trying not to vomit, completely sure I was on the verge of a sugar seizure, and all I could think about was how I wished I had more candy. Then I started wondering if we would still have a bunch of candy at the office the next day. Then I started fantasizing about Christmas candy and then Valentine’s candy and then back to Halloween. Suddenly, an entire year of my life had passed by in one sugary rush.

Then it dawned on me that if I felt this way and thought that much about alcohol, I would be in rehab. So, I realized that I’ve gotten out of control over the past few weeks. What is disappointing is that since living on my own, I had been really good about dialing down the consumption of sweets. I was at the point where I had a normal and reasonable amount of candy once or twice a week. Sometimes not at all.

I enjoyed candy or a cupcake or doughnut or sweet anything if was something I didn’t find often or is truly delicious. So I enjoyed a piece of homemade chocolate cake, a Reese’s Big Cup (which are not that easy to find outside of gas stations), or a chocolate cake doughnut with chocolate glaze icing from Shipley’s when they made their rare appearance at work. I didn’t waste time on Tootsie Rolls or Kit Kat bars.

Haha sorry, that made me laugh really hard.

Anyway, so last week I decided that I would take a break from sugar to reset my body and get back to eating sweets rarely. I did this when my peanut butter habit (only jars of peanut butter, not candy with peanut butter in it obviously) got out of hand and I can happily report that I now eat peanut butter in the prescribed amount again. The weeks leading up to Halloween were a bit of a sugar shitshow. I mean just mindlessly grazing on candy for most of the day. Eating any sugary treat that I laid eyes on and having endless Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. For weeks. There is no doubt that added sugar is not good for you. And you can save your “but a little bit of dark chocolate is!” for the birds. I’ve consumed enough dark chocolate to keep my heart pumping for the next 700 years.

So, I will not be eating anything that can be classified as a sweet or dessert (candy, chocolate, pastries, doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, pies, cakes, pancakes/waffles/french toast (because syrup is mandatory), cookies, Nutella, cereal made for children, honey… gah the list of the good stuff is long) for the rest of November. Today would be one week without sugar if Laura hadn’t forced me to eat cookie dough last weekend. I mean, she held me down and made me. I take no responsibility.

That’s a lie, it was all my fault. I make bad choices when I drink. Gonna take that down a notch too. I am also not going to have a candy binge or sugar festival on December 1, the point of this is to not slip back into my old and evil ways.

I’ve also been running this past week and it’s been kind of wonderful. The half-marathon I was planning on in December is not happening since it is at the same time I will be at a conference for work. Learning > running. But, it has been really nice to just run whatever distance I feel like. Kind of freeing and far less stressful.

So between now and India, I’ll just keep running and lifting weights. Or swimming. Or doing whatever the hell I feel like, but definitely doing something every day (even if it’s just a long walk). I have noticed that I’m a bit cantankerous and hateful when I don’t exercise. It’s not like studies have shown that exercise can improve your mental well being or anything. Anyway, I think I’m going to be okay.

DOES IT??? Huh Maria?

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Filed under booze, Cake, Candy, Running