My former roommate and running buddy, Caroline, is getting hitched in a few short weeks. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we had her bachelorette party in Port Aransas this past weekend. On Friday night,we started things off right with dinner at the Port Aransas Brewing Company.
Just in case you weren’t sure what cold beer and piping hot, cheesy pizza looked like.
After properly fueling, we hit a bar that had two other people in it. Both over 60.
But, that was fine, because we were pretty exhausted from the drive and couldn’t be bothered to change clothes or fix our hair. So, pretty normal night. Thankfully, we didn’t stay out too late and managed to get plenty of sleep in preparation for the drinking juggernaut that was Saturday.
We got the day started with some breakfast and the beach (PS: Thanks for leaving me that rum, Maggie. Life changed.).
Had to go with Sprite Zero since I am obviously very concerned about calorie intake. We weren’t at the beach too long because it was terribly windy and the waves kept trying to drown us. Luckily, we still managed to all get nicely seared on our backsides. Nothing like a healthy layer of skin cancer to get the weekend started. I think I’m going to start wearing a burqa when I go outside because I can’t reapply sunscreen enough to keep my flesh from burning.
After the beach, we napped. Day drinking + napping = insurmountable lethargy. It took us a very long time to get moving again. After much dragging about, we finally made it to dinner around 9 pm.
I’m relatively sure I had fried shrimp and I believe they were tasty. We were advised the previous night to head to Bernie’s Beach House if we wanted to have a good time, so it was really convenient to find that it was right across the street from the restaurant.
It was madness. I cannot imagine what it’s like during the summer since it was so cram-packed during the off-season. Despite the unrelenting sweat and humanity, we had the best time. Even me, Grumpy McHatespeopleson
The best part were the random fog machines that would blast out air with such force that it almost knocked us over. The more we drank, the less able we were to prepare for them. The aftermath:
Then we made terrible faces and drank tiny vials of liquor:
I’m pretty sure Caroline had a great time, although I’m not sure she remembers it.
That guy was way too willing to strip for her. It’s not really a bachelorette party without some bare flesh I suppose. We also found Cornholio.
He knows what women want. Then there was this gentleman who had some super sassy dance moves.
He worked it hard. All night. I’m gonna have to add that move to the repertoire.
We lost Laura for a while, but that’s not really surprising.
Bye, friend. After a long search, we eventually found her. Had to keep an eye on her after that.
We stayed until close and crashed into our beds sometime around 3 am. I’m sunburned, exhausted, there’s sand in everything I own, I’m hoarse from screaming along to “Wrecking Ball” in the bar, and I’m pretty sure there is still vodka coursing through my veins, but it was a blast.