I think this past weekend was one of the best weekends of my entire life. Even if life is all down hill from here, I will be okay with that. On Friday, I headed west to Boerne to finally watch my former roommate/awkward little friend, Caroline, marry her awkward man, Greg. Per tradition, we started out Friday night with the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
It was a weirdo festival. Not a single normal or socially appropriate human to be found. After assuring the mothers that we could make it down the aisle and back like mature and responsible adults, we headed to Chili’s to get the party started. It’s been a long time since I hung out at a Chili’s until close, but we made it happen.
Thankfully, we were able to sleep in on Saturday and relax before we had to spend six hours getting ready. After some Advil, we headed to the venue to start drinking. I mean, “getting ready.”
See, I can be a helpful friend. Eventually, Caroline arrived fresh and beautiful from the salon, and was ready to celebrate herself.
A miraculous cool front blew in while we were getting ready and, by ceremony time, the weather was beautiful. It was finally time for the mawwiage.
If you want people to like you, you should walk around saying that for an entire day. Believe me, you will make so many friends. No one will ever be annoyed.
Caroline and Greg were married at the Goat Barn in Welfare. You can’t make that up. I thought it was a joke when she first told us, but it turned out to be one of the prettiest weddings I have ever attended.
A group shot of the Texas chapter of the Society for Socially Awkward Adults. Then, as you might expect, it was reception time.
If you ever wondered where I get the weird from, find my dad in that photo.
I found another weirdo with his woman:
My dearest friend here got a “modesty panel” added to her dress and didn’t bother to share that information with me. That’s pretty rude. But, I suppose everyone needs that token whorish friend in their wedding.
My only picture of the bride and groom together at the reception. Pretty much sums it up: Bossy Pants and Grumpy. Happily ever after.
The most important part of the day:
Then, as usual, things got strange. We caressed Sari’s face.
Doug got hugs.
And a mysterious person stole my camera.
Wonder who that was.
After the party, we stood around chatting in the hotel parking lot. A bride from another wedding entertained us by shotgunning a beer in the back of a truck. I don’t know where her husband was, but she was not ready for her party to be over. Anyway, it was a wonderful weekend and a spectacular wedding. I’ve asked them to get divorced this week so we can do it again in a month. Here’s hoping!