So many things today.
First off, I randomly ran 7 miles on Monday. My body is now screaming “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU” at me. I had absolutely no intention of running that far. I had planned four with a hope and dream to complete them without walking. Instead, the weather was so nice (70 degrees with 24% humidity. AMAZING) and the sunset was so pretty that I completely fell into my thoughts and woke up 3.5 miles later.
Seems so close, but it’s not. Not at all. When I looked at my Garmin, I almost had a panic attack. I was significantly worried I wouldn’t make it home (took me way too long to realize I could just walk and be totally fine). Anyway, I miraculously made it back with only a couple of one minute walking breaks. I’m really so mad at myself for a) being that detached from my surroundings and b) running that far for absolutely no reason. My hips and knees hurt so badly I can barely get up stairs. Moral of the story: pay attention when you run. You might encounter a bad guy or run way too far (and God forbid that ever happen).
This time change sucks. Besides the lack of sleep, it’s super dark in the morning. Normally, when I leave the gym in the mornings, the sun is up. Now, not so much. This morning when I was schlepping out of the gym, I failed to see a curb and pick my feet up, so I tripped and face planted.
I didn’t actually hurt myself, it just scared me to death. I didn’t even have a second to try and catch myself. Thankfully, I landed on my gym bag and not my hands because my wrists would have just snapped in two. Too much weight on generally useless joints. I don’t know WTF is my deal. It cannot be normal to fall this much.
Olivia Wilde. WTF? Regarding her current fiance Jason Sudeikis she said:
“I thought, I’m not beautiful enough or his type…. thought, He won’t be interested in me; I’m not a contender. He was so cool, so funny — I was such a fan of his and had always fancied his speed and his intelligence. He’s a brilliant actor with a brain like lightning.”
(source)
There are just so many things that piss me off here. He’s cool and smart and funny and quick-witted and so she must not be good enough because she isn’t pretty enough. That’s all she has to offer. He gets all these great personality traits and all she gives herself is her looks. God forbid she be worried about not being smart enough or funny, if she can just be more beautiful then that man can be hers. And he’s a cute guy, but seriously Olivia? You’re gorgeous. You get paid to stand around and look beautiful. And if she’s just saying it to try and sound down-to-earth then I hate it even more.
Apparently not everyone on campus knew I was in India for five weeks. Some of them thought I got engaged (which why would I leave work for five weeks?) and others thought I had a baby. This does wonders for my self-esteem. Especially considering that two people have said “you look great for just having a baby.” Considering I didn’t carry another human in my body for nine months, that is not at all flattering. So not only am I still Cely Smart: Spinster at Large, I’ve also misplaced my baby.
Perhaps.
Also, my computer mouse is malfunctioning. Instead of highlighting, it just drags things about and rearranges my words. This is making me very upset.
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Alright, really laughing about the baby thing. I almost feel bad that I’m laughing at your expense. Almost.
Jason Sudeikis needs to date someone awesome like Sandra Bullock.
So does Ryan Reynolds. She’s so fucking fantastic. If my (non-existant) husband left me for her, I would applaud his good taste and ability to reel someone as fabulous as her in.
I’m pretty sure Olivia Wilde just wants us all to say, “Aw, so cute and sweet, she’s just as insecure as the rest of us breath-not-taking people; she doesn’t even know she’s way out of his league!” Barf.
Exactly. I would have so much more respect if she’s was just like, “hey, I know I’m hot, but I was worried I wouldn’t be funny enough for him.” That would make sense.
Eh… I don’t think she’s all that hot. I think they make a decently-matched couple, looks-wise. I think she is the kind of girl that I am SUPPOSED to think it hot, though, because she is on tv and has people that are paid to make her look well put together.
I think “regular” people give celebrities too much credit. Just ‘cuz they make one bajillion dollars doesn’t mean they are beautiful. Hopefully at least talented, but not always beautiful. I don’t find Kim Kardashian the least bit beautiful (nor talented… actually, her “celebrity” status is the biggest mindf**k ever…). I think Cameron Diaz looks like a man. I think Angelina Jolie looks like an angry vampire. I do find Mila Kunis adorable. And I think Reese Witherspoon might be the cutest thing ever made, even though my fiance’ loves her… grrrr…
Granted, I am not beautiful, either. And I’m okay with that; I have enough other qualities that make me a good catch. Just like the above-mentioned celebrities. Cameron strikes me as someone who would good in the sack. Angelina seems to be a good philanthropist, Reese is basically the best at everything, Mila is fricken hilarious and Kim… well… she is good at making money for no apparent reason. So for anyone to wrap their entire self-worth up in only one of their qualities is just so sad and narrow-minded.
So what the fuck does Marshall Matters do for America. Besides cry and whine. He’s the white kanye west.
Well, aren’t you fiesty!
Mathers. With an “h.” Aside from being a great writer, rapper, singer, and performer, he is beautiful, he adores his daughters. A bit to be desired in his general respect for his Baby Mama/Wife/Ex-Wife, but I attribute that to him being a very passionate person. He loves passionately; he hates passionately. But I also think Calvin is a catch, even though he isn’t traditionally good-looking, because he has a ton of other great qualities.
You seem to have missed my point and just jumped to being angry, though…
Well, Kim Kardashian isn’t even slightly attractive, so I agree with you on that one. But I think Olivia Wilde is beautiful because she’s different-looking.
I’m doing a literal lol over here for people thinking you got engaged and felt the need to leave work for five weeks. And the baby is also super realistic too! High five to you for 7 miles, I’m impressed.
How dare you! First you convince me to elope with you…have my baby and then looossseeeee him! I mean what the hell woman! I lose the remote, not our imaginary baby! Also I giggle every time you trip, I used to get very concerned. But that became wearing… after the 10th fall in one day.
I’m just a tricky bitch. And when you have to buy me a new hip, you aren’t going to be happy.
I already have a fund started : Cely’s new knees and hips. I put 20% of my salary in every month. If you some how gain coordination, I’ll convert it into our imaginary lost child’s college fund.
Good because I know that baby is super smart. Probably taught itself to walk and ran away from me.
Silently loling at “Spinster at Large”, and your misplaced baby. Teehee!!
OMG People actually thought you had a baby? I wonder if these are the same people who repeatedly ask me, “Wow. You’re huge. Are you due any minute now?”
(I would like to be a Spinster at Large. Maybe for just one day. I would love to live up to the Librarian stereotype in that way.)
I’m sure there is some overlap in those people. Universities aren’t exactly repositories for people with functioning social skills. And the library is even worse…
Big fat FAIL to both Oliva Wilde and the people at your office. Imagine if people really got 5 weeks leave for getting engaged?
Apparently. This makes me want to get engaged, just for the vacation…
Eh. Take it from a married lady, all it got me was a nice layer of newlywed weight gain and someone else’s dirty socks ;)
Mouse malfunctions are HORRID! My mouse was super crazy for awhile, and it resulted in super embarrassing situations. One where I accidentally hit the video button during an online meeting without knowing it. Finally someone said something, and I died (and prayed that I hadn’t just picked my nose or something equally ridiculous). Then in another meeting, I meant to hit my away button so I could have a stern talk with my daughter and instead hit the talk button. People I work with think I’m super competent.
hahahah that sucks! I have had nowhere near those kinds of problems, mainly just closing windows against my will.
You lost your baby? Is that the key to having one and still getting a good night’s sleep?
I bet that’s why you ran so far. You were looking for your baby.
Yes. Lose your baby (hopefully with someone nice and rich).
Maybe your baby is actually celys baby and you randomly found her baby because cely hardly sleeps. Yep that’s exactly what happened.
yeah that’s it. Kara, you just got a really fat stomach for a few months. Shame on you for just letting yourself go like that.
Well she uses crisco as a butter substitute. Do you expect anything less? She also eats like a 15 year old boy. She has food issues.
I think I believe Olivia (mainly because I really like her) that she didn’t think she was his type or that he would like her. We all know even the really smart, witty guys don’t necessarily go for girls with those same qualities, but more for looks. I’m sure it’s particularly bad in Hollywood. What bothers me is that she doesn’t think she’s stunningly gorgeous. What does that make the rest of us?! Solid 3s? I know people who are family friends of Jason Sudeikis’s family in IL and they’ve met her multiple times and said she’s incredibly sweet and genuine so I’ll cut her some slack.
Well and in interviews she seems like a genuinely intelligent person. That’s what gets me. She’s beautiful and clearly very smart, why wouldn’t he go for her? And yeah, if she’s not incredibly beautiful then OMFG for the rest of us ugly trolls.
Oh… probably don’t read my comment above, then… I think you are prettier than she is, actually. But if you think she is beautiful, then you probably think I have horrible taste in women, anyway, and do not accept my comment as a compliment. Hmm… we are at a stand-still.
You mean you think I’m prettier than someone you don’t find attractive at all? I’ll take it! hahaha. And I already know you have horrible taste. Two words: Marshall Mathers
We have such different definitions of “horrible.” Your definition of horrible seems to mean “excellent.”
Cely is very beautiful. I think she’s the prettiest in all the land.
Your check is in the mail.
Thanks babe, I’m gonna use it to buy me a lot of bluebell ice cream.
I am amazed with the baby comments. Some people are just so stupid.
I have said it before and I will say it again. Personality is NUMBER ONE. Number one! Silly Olivia.
Good luck finding that baby of yours. Hahaha, I can’t believe that.
I am seriously crying because I laughed so hard about the having a baby in five weeks or less. If you could patent that process you would make every woman in the world happy. Five weeks…forty weeks…I’ll take the five week plan please. I am extremely disappointed that you:
a) didn’t let us know so we could have a big party at which we played embarassing games
b) didn’t let us help you pick baby names
c) didn’t introduce us to baby before you misplaced him/her (I’m sure it was a her and was extremely intelligent)
Whoever said you were out having said baby was probably just absolutely certain that nothing else could take you away from the work you love for so long.
Also those curbs are dangerous and it’s their fault you fell. It has nothing to do with being clumsy. I speak from experience-lots of experience.
I’m glad you didn’t hurt yourself when you face-planted outta the gym! I run into crap all the time (and you can add falling down stairs to that list as of a few weeks ago) and trip over cracks in the sidewalk (yes, cracks, not curbs), and it really is just plain annoying. It’s to the point now where I just get pissed because the darn wall corner, door, crack in the sidewalk didn’t get outta MY way..
Hahahahaha, I can see how upset/sad you are about your mouse malfunction….that’s a great pic.
Haha very funny. I am a pretty big clutz myself and am constantly falling or dropping things. It’s a curse I swear!
Oh. My. I was just laughing so hard I nearly dropped this computer. I love that people are so asinine! Exhibit A: Today my boss said to me, “Well, you have that HUGE zit on your face…you must be having a hard week, huh?” What? Where is the connection there, and why is my boss mentioning it? This is the same disease that those two poor souls who somehow thought you grew and birthed another human in the past five weeks must be afflicted with. Social interactions are confusing.