Since I returned from India, my arthritis has been all kinds of cantankerous. Not full blown awful, but certainly not living in peaceful coexistence with my joints. My doctor put me back on steroids for a couple of weeks to get it back under control (wooo effin who) and decided that I was going to do a food elimination plant see how my diet impacts my inflammation levels. First up? Two weeks without dairy, peanuts, red meat, and all grains or cereals. Although I realize it’s for the betterment of my health and I will do anything to not have to take steroids any longer than necessary, it sucks.
Side note: I watched Bachelorette this weekend and I love d it. Those girls were inappropriately horrible and awful. And James Marsden is beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. When his character corrects the Truman in Geneva comment, I think I heard angels singing.
Anyway, back to my exceptionally tragic life. I started it last Thursday and the first few days were rough as hell. I didn’t realize that my diet consists of only four food groups: chocolate, dairy on wheat, peanut butter, and wine. Initially I had a little bit of a panic attack because I was like wtf am I supposed to eat for lunch if sandwiches aren’t an option?? Sandwiches are a major part of my life, I eat at least one every day. And cereal, my beloved. Then, I realized that Ranch dressing has dairy in it. It was an abysmal realization.
I’m supposed to focus on getting in about 10x the amount of fruits and vegetables I eat. Considering I only eat maybe one apple each day, I needed some help incorporating them into my diet because vegetables just aren’t really my favorite thing ever. They’re fine, but I get sick of them really quickly because I don’t know a lot of preparation options that don’t include butter or cheese. So, I went to ol’ Mr. Internets to see if I could find some Paleo recipes since they generally exclude all of things I can’t have (with the exception of red meat obviously). I made a grocery list, threw on my disguise, and headed to the hippie grocery store.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to bring it on down to Veganville for this diet.
I got cage-free, hormone-free, baptized poultry; kumbaya chicken eggs; and gently coddled fruits and vegetables. Part of my plan of attack is smoothies since that seems like the laziest and most efficient way to really plow through some veggies. We will see how that goes.
I also decided to give spaghetti squash a try. I have only had one experience with spaghetti squash and that was probably around 1994 when my aunt made it and failed to inform my sister and I that we were not eating real spaghetti. We had a full blown dinnertime mutiny.
Anyway, since that experience, it has always been on my shit list. But, since it’s been almost 20 years (<- OMG WTF!!!!), I gave it a shot. I made Artichoke Lemon Pesto Chicken Pasta and it was actually really delicious. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I was prepared to just choke it down and deal, but I was wrong, so very wrong. And you can eat so much more of it. I had it for lunch yesterday and I wasn’t hungry for like six hours. SIX. Completely unheard of. I feel like I’ve been saved.
Anyway, I made it through the weekend despite one unbelievably strong urge for pizza on Sunday night (which it’s a good thing I didn’t because eating pizza while watching the Walking Dead is a really bad idea. Too much red sauce). So that’s what I’ll be doing for the next 8 or so days, trying not to eat pizza, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Reese’s. Pray for me.
PS: Yes, I realize I am completely ridiculous and there are far worse things in life. I just really need cheese sometimes.
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Veganville! Thank you for that!!
Godspeed this week. I’ve got my fingers crossed the peanuts and grains aren’t the culprit. That would be tragic.
I’m doing exactly the same thing for my arthritis just now! I’m just doing gluten at the moment. Definitely not working though so next up is dairy. Not sure if I can survive without cheese or yogurt…
High five for janky joints! Well, on the bright side at least you don’t have to break up with bread. I will pray that’s its not dairy. I saw a wheel of Brie yesterday and almost had drool.
My daughters arthritis is made worse when she eats dairy–but she has a family “tradition” of developing lactose intolerance as she ages (from my husbands side, not mine–of course). Also, sugar makes her feel terrible. She has cut out a lot of sugar on her own–and being the GREAT mother that I am I sacrifice and eat all her Halloween and valentines candy for her. I am awesome that way and I will do the same for you. You go ahead and send me your reese’s and such and I will sacrifice myself. I will be on your team! Seriously, I hate that you all have arthritis and I think you are awesome. I hope you know that because you have accomplished so much (work, school, travel, running….) it gives me hope that my daughters life will turn out just great even though she has swollen, flaming hot joints all the time.
Well aren’t you a nice mother! Hahaha. And hopefully y’all can get it under control soon. Poor kiddo.
Baptized poultry??? ON. THE. FLOOR. Thanks for the morning laugh.
Because my mom taught me to always be positive (like telling me daily “if you think you can or can’t, you’re right” and “when life gives you lemons…” etc), I’ve heard it is easiest to focus on the things you can have instead of thinking of the things you can’t.
But, gah, no dairy or wheat? or wine? Take luck.
I LOVE spaghetti squash! It’s always been a favorite of mine, especially with butter and salt and pepper. I don’t treat it like spaghetti (because that’s what 100% white semolina flour doughy strands are for) but I serve it as a side dish or base for a main dish.It has a little bit of texture to it, so it can add some crunch in a stew.
I was randomly thinking the other day that if I had to give up cheese or sugar, it’d totally be sugar. Bless you for having to deal without queso. You’ll be in my prayers.
Thank you. I’ve been avoiding Mexican restaurants like the plague. And I’d pick sugar over cheese too. Give me queso or give me death.
We are all here for you. I couldn’t give up ranch dressing. EVER. But the rest I probably could. And I eat enough fruit for the both of us.
The Kidless Kronicles
I hope you feel better soon! I’m kind of surprised the doc didn’t recommend low sugar too? Not because you eat a lot of sugar (no judgement!) but because I know from my research that sugar has a negative impact on inflammation.
Also, after having my hip surgery this year I gained a shit ton of weight and essentially put myself on a paleo diet after-I’ve lost over 10lbs so far so there is a silver lining!
Well, he did mention sugar, but I was already panicking, so we will do that next. Plus, 95% of the sugar I eat comes with chocolate, so since dairy is out, so is that. And I can’t have pancakes or cereal, so there goes another 4%. Pretty much all I have left are sugar coated candy fruit slices, and the only ones I like are at a gas station 3 hours away. Hmm… so I guess I’m involuntarily giving up sugar too. Sneaky doctor!
I’m doing the whole30 challenge and feel your pain. I have a bad thyroid…like really, really bad. I was told that it could be my diet keeping it from getting better. So it was suggested to do this whole30 thing. No sugar (in any way, shape, or form other than fruits), grains, dairy, etc. I miss cheese…terribly. Out of all the things I’ve given up, the only thing I miss and still care about it is cheese. So I feel your pain. Luckily, after these 30 days, I can start to pick a group and add them back into my diet a little at the time to see if it affects how I feel. Dairy will be my first addition. Let’s hope it doesn’t make me feel like crap….because, well, I’ve done stranger things for love. Cheese will be a part of my life…always.
Good for you. Really. A month without cheese sounds rough as hell.
This is where I almost peed my pants: “I got cage-free, hormone-free, baptized poultry”
Didn’t you mention you have a juicer? I have been drinking a vegetable juice every morning to get those nutrients in first thing. It seems to be helping crowd out the crap…
I do! I usually have juice in the morning too! Well, when I wake up in time to make it.
I actually prefer zucchini noodles to spaghetti squash but you really need a spiralizer to make those. I bought one because it helps me eat more veggies. paleOMG has a ton of terrific recipes. One of my favorites is the sundried tomato pesto that goes over the zucchni noodles.
I mostly eat Paleo plus cheese. Even after doing the Whole 30, I didn’t stop craving cheese. It doesn’t bother me though so I guess I’m lucky.
It’s incredible how cheese seems to be everyone’s crux around here. It’s the tie that binds us apparently. And I will check out that pesto recipe.
I laughed out loud at your description of your groceries. Baptized chicken is always best, right? haha
Well it can’t hurt.
Thought of you when I read this today…
http://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/healthy-drinks/6-satisfying-vegan-smoothies
You are so dramatic. So dramatic i mean there are bigger issues to freak out about…like global warming. Ha told you would post about global warming. Foooled you! Anyway I’m sorry honey that you have to give up candy and cheese…and bread …wine. I’ll be your moral compass and keep you strong during these trying times.
Thank you. Please don’t mention pizza or cereal in my presence. And global warming.. pshhh… that’s not even real.
I’ll try not to sugar. Although I did just eat cereal in bed…frosted flakes. It was delicious. I also had pizza last night, but you already yelled at me for mentioning that. You knoooooow you adore me.
Thanks. RUDE.
Welcome babe. I’m here for you.
Pizza, cinnamon toast crunch and reeses.. my three vices!
I’ve been dairy free for 4 months now and I have a good list of desserts that are dairy free. Lindt Intense Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt? Dairy free. Just a heads up.
Also, cookies with butter flavored Crisco are delightful. Obviously I’m all about health.
You are my best friend. I love you more than all my other friends because NONE of them reminded me about butter flavored Crisco.
Also, ghirardelli semi sweet chocolate chips are dairy free. I’m telling you all my secrets for amazing cookies.
Just don’t forget to add 2 tablespoons of water to the recipe if you use Crisco instead of butter. :)
Kara I’m glad your kids allowed you enough time to comment. I’ve missed your smartass rude comments.
Ugh. Cookies have flour. Just remembered that. Son of a bitch!
So use some hippie shit like almond flour. Stop being a Mexi-can’t and start being a Mexi-can.
I appreciate this exchange.
I don’t think they’ll let me in that club unfortunately. I’ve applied twice.
Whole foods lots of veg & fruits is the way to go! Most of the vegan recipe’s we’ve tried have been really delish too. Try this one: roast a spaghetti squash, and mix it in with black beans, black japonica rice, some corn, and olive oil/salt/pepper. unreal melt in your mouth good. Check out the cook-train-eat-race blog for tons of great spaghetti squash recipes.
That does sound good. I will, thanks Indiana John!
hahahaha, yea that was a great way to give my mother a heart attack! fun times.
How do you feel about yams? We eat like 4 or 5 a week. Also, I make spaghetti squash for my husband a lot. The texture weirds me out though.
I yam what I yam.
- Popeye
Laughed out loud at Mexi-can’t.
Then again, being a dude, I agree we need more cans around here.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a yam to be honest. That probably should be embarrassing.
You are not ridiculous – this sounds incredibly hard, and I think you’re kick-ass for really embracing it and giving it a try!
I’m glad you liked the spaghetti squash this time around! I discovered it a few months ago, and I love it. Granted, the taste is very distinct, so it’s easy for me to get burnt out, but overall, I’ll happily take it as a healthy pasta alternative…
I loved your comment about putting on your disguise to head to the hippie grocery store – this is exactly what I feel like doing if I ever find myself needing to set foot inside a Whole Foods haha
Oh dear. I don’t know how you made it this last week. I’ve had people suggest similar diet restrictions for me but I just can’t bring myself to do it (no Dr. recommendations). Luckily my medical problems haven’t been as severe as to need steroids, ect. No cheese or other dairy?! No breads?! Ack! I hope you can find lots of good recipes to go with your new hippie foods (which by the way was hilarious!).
Food restrictions are horrifying news. I am grieving for you! :) I have a mild dairy allergy that affects my skin. I tried to go dairy free for a while, but I was just so sad that it wasn’t worth it. I’ll just take the itchy, peeling skin, thanks, and keep my cheese. The good news is that now that I know dairy is a trigger, I can take a little break from it if things get too bad with my skin– hopefully it is the same idea with your arthritis! (Also note– I was eating vile soy cheese during my no dairy time, but couldn’t figure out why I was still having skin issues. Turns out soy cheese contains casein– who puts milk protein in fake cheese?!?!?!)
Wow, I would never have thought to look at that. I’ve had vegan cheese once and it was so waxy I could barely swallow it. I’ll just wait for the real thing and hope I can still have it in small doses.
A good replacement for buttered bread is gluten free bread (I think Rudi’s is the best brand and is pretty awesome lightly toasted) and slathered in a butt-ton of vegan butter (Smart Balance Organic is my choice for this)…of course it isn’t a fresh baked French loaf but it does the job. Also a baked potato with vegan butter is another go to for a dairy/starch combo craving. Hope this helps!
I read in one of your previous posts you were at the Star of Texas Inn in Austin last week. I live 2 blocks from there on the UT campus – can’t believe you were in my neighborhood! Anyways, I’ve been following your blog for about a year and a half now. I think you’re hysterical and I’m glad someone else also loves the combination of chocolate and running as much as I do :)
I LOVED this post! Those gifs are pretty much exactly how I’ve been feeling for weeks after giving up fast food for lent. I dream about it 3 times a day now… and I only used to eat it like 3 times a week!
p.s. throw a cup or two of spinach in your smoothies, and mine keep me full until lunch!
I don’t know how I’d live without sandwiches, but it does sound like you are making it work pretty well. Thank goodness this isn’t permanent!!!!
Just catching up here. I’ve done lots of these sorts of diets and it helps if you like to cook. Couple of ideas: Roast veggies: super easy, just root vegetables with some s&p and oil. Taste good over steamed brown rice, which is gluten free. Same for stir fry over rice with some soy/lime/sweet chili sauce. Salads, which is probably obvious, but with homemade dressing. Homemade dressing is ridiculously easy to make and delicious. My go to recipe is 4 parts oil to 2 parts vinegar to 1 part dijon mustard + s&p to taste. The dijon makes it all kinds of creamy and it takes a minute of whisking to make. Also, nuts on salad, nuts with fruit, basically make cashews your friend. Also, there are gluten free flours out there, so breads/pizzas/cookies can still be in your life. I am not really a big sweets person, but I do like me some salty snacks and plain potato chips and plain fritos are both gluten, dairy free fwiw. Good luck!
i just watched bachelorette the other night and loooved it. i thought it was great. that quote is new motto.
i tried to give up dairy for a different reason, but one of my saddest realizations was definitely also that it was in ranch. i only lasted about a week, though. (self control? i has none.)