Since I returned from India, my arthritis has been all kinds of cantankerous. Not full blown awful, but certainly not living in peaceful coexistence with my joints. My doctor put me back on steroids for a couple of weeks to get it back under control (wooo effin who) and decided that I was going to do a food elimination plant see how my diet impacts my inflammation levels. First up? Two weeks without dairy, peanuts, red meat, and all grains or cereals. Although I realize it’s for the betterment of my health and I will do anything to not have to take steroids any longer than necessary, it sucks.
Side note: I watched Bachelorette this weekend and I love d it. Those girls were inappropriately horrible and awful. And James Marsden is beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. When his character corrects the Truman in Geneva comment, I think I heard angels singing.
Anyway, back to my exceptionally tragic life. I started it last Thursday and the first few days were rough as hell. I didn’t realize that my diet consists of only four food groups: chocolate, dairy on wheat, peanut butter, and wine. Initially I had a little bit of a panic attack because I was like wtf am I supposed to eat for lunch if sandwiches aren’t an option?? Sandwiches are a major part of my life, I eat at least one every day. And cereal, my beloved. Then, I realized that Ranch dressing has dairy in it. It was an abysmal realization.
I’m supposed to focus on getting in about 10x the amount of fruits and vegetables I eat. Considering I only eat maybe one apple each day, I needed some help incorporating them into my diet because vegetables just aren’t really my favorite thing ever. They’re fine, but I get sick of them really quickly because I don’t know a lot of preparation options that don’t include butter or cheese. So, I went to ol’ Mr. Internets to see if I could find some Paleo recipes since they generally exclude all of things I can’t have (with the exception of red meat obviously). I made a grocery list, threw on my disguise, and headed to the hippie grocery store.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to bring it on down to Veganville for this diet.
I got cage-free, hormone-free, baptized poultry; kumbaya chicken eggs; and gently coddled fruits and vegetables. Part of my plan of attack is smoothies since that seems like the laziest and most efficient way to really plow through some veggies. We will see how that goes.
I also decided to give spaghetti squash a try. I have only had one experience with spaghetti squash and that was probably around 1994 when my aunt made it and failed to inform my sister and I that we were not eating real spaghetti. We had a full blown dinnertime mutiny.
Anyway, since that experience, it has always been on my shit list. But, since it’s been almost 20 years (<- OMG WTF!!!!), I gave it a shot. I made Artichoke Lemon Pesto Chicken Pasta and it was actually really delicious. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I was prepared to just choke it down and deal, but I was wrong, so very wrong. And you can eat so much more of it. I had it for lunch yesterday and I wasn’t hungry for like six hours. SIX. Completely unheard of. I feel like I’ve been saved.
Anyway, I made it through the weekend despite one unbelievably strong urge for pizza on Sunday night (which it’s a good thing I didn’t because eating pizza while watching the Walking Dead is a really bad idea. Too much red sauce). So that’s what I’ll be doing for the next 8 or so days, trying not to eat pizza, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Reese’s. Pray for me.
PS: Yes, I realize I am completely ridiculous and there are far worse things in life. I just really need cheese sometimes.