I Saw God

On our last morning in Cherthala, we enjoyed a large group breakfast and some coffee in the swing. Every house I have been in has a swing. It’s quite the popular leisure apparatus around here.

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I did not understand why the swing didn’t face the TV. So confusing. There were no other chairs in the room. I DON’T GET IT.

Anyway, shortly after breakfast we took a van ride fraught with motion sickness to Ranni. Ranni is a city high in the hills and it was quite the winding and weaving journey. Luckily, there was a beautiful view when we arrived.

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We were all staying in one house together which was both fun and kind of crappy. It’s nice because there was less pressure to singularly entertain an entire family of people who can barely understand your very poor English. It’s crappy because there are so many of us that it is really hard to have quality time with the few minutes we have together each day.

There are also some very scary bugs up there, like half cricket half cockroach. Not a fan. The windows don’t have screens and we have to keep them open or we will die of suffocation, so those little bastards just swarm on in. Lots of screaming in the night around there. We all survived, but it was a harrowing night.

On our first morning in Ranni, we visited the original shop where these mirrors are made of stone. It was so mind-boggling. This gentleman with the fabulous mustache creates these vessels out of clay.

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Then he pours some sort of rock fragments into them and lays them in a fire.

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Then he breaks open the vessels and reveals a beautiful rock that when shined acts as a mirror. Of course Vanessa had to have one because she so enjoys gazing at herself.

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They also had a well which I immediately investigated for walkers. I tried explaining to one of our hosts why I was so interested in the well, but zombies apparently aren’t really something that translate easily.

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Our next stop was a Hindu temple. I far prefer visiting these than the churches. By about a billion. They are just so much more interesting.

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The most horrifically hot steps on the planet.

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Vanessa and I were enjoying a very intellectual conversation about the above leaves (are they like that naturally or are they folded!!!) when our bus driver ran over and dragged us to the temple door. I was halfway through asking him what he was doing when I saw this:

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No big deal, just an elephant coming though with some palm fronds. I immediately took off after him, but it wasn’t until I was about halfway around that temple that I realized that my feet were getting a third degree burn. It was at that moment when I turned and saw Vanessa being guided to the shade by our driver (Kannen). I see how it is.

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Jerks. I decided to run. Unfortunately, by the time I found where the elephant had gone, I was back on the other side of the temple. I burned my feet for nothing. NOTHING. At least I made it in time for the elephant bath.

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Pretty sure that’s what I look like taking a bucket shower.

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After the temple I checked out my feet.

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Guess how much I’m going to miss being barefoot all the time??  Thankfully, I was shown the secret water spout and instructed on how to use the stone to clean my feet. Thank the Lord because I was thoroughly disgusted at the state of things.

While I cleaned my feet, the ladies perused the powders that are placed on the forehead of married Hindu women.

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So pretty. We were then told that we were going to watch some snake boat races. We got all excited, but were severely let down when it turned out to be  just an old snake boat that was half rotted. We were not impressed.

And that face is why I’ll never pull off being royalty. Just can’t hide it. After we went to a children’s annual day festival where I saw God. The end.

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18 Comments

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18 Responses to I Saw God

  1. I bet you can’t wait to get home. Your god made me almost spit my coffee out – laughing. That’s great.

  2. Sandra

    You’re burning your feet in sweltering heat. I’m shoveling nearly 3 ft of snow in Massachusetts this morning. Ask your God why is there no happy medium. :-)

  3. Erin

    Okay so pizza, wine and pedicures are all on the menu for when you get home…

    • Justin

      Christine just sent me the pictures of Bdough and your little nugget sleeping on the couch. Very cute.

      • Erin

        Oh good. As I told Cely, they are finally good buddies now that Bardot is about to go home. I was a little worried since Hedi is still a crazy puppy, but when Hedi gets up in the morning she cries at the guest room door for us to get her friend out so they can go patrol the yard. Quite the pair!

        • Justin

          Wait why does bardot have her own room? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! She doesn’t even have her own room at her house. So crazy.

  4. Justin

    I just decided before you climb into bed when you get home, it is mandatory you spend a good 2 hours scrubbing your feet. I am thoroughly grossed out.

  5. Erin

    Hey any guest at our house gets the royal treatment. She has her own room with her kennel and one of Hedi’s she has decided she likes. She has her bed and a queen sized bed with a pillow staircase to help her up to the bed. She has her own tv and top gear on DVR. And of course she has a fine selection of water in her room and the kitchen to choose from. And we put her baby gate up instead of closing the door so she doesn’t feel isolated. And above all…her crochet A&M blanket to curl up with. This is no second rate pay by the hour motel!!

    • Erin

      I mean come on…who is sleeping stretched out on the couch on Saturday? Not me…or my husband…

      • Justin

        lmao okay I can not stop laughing at the way you described Bardot’s sleeping arrangements. I can safely assume, bardot is being treated better than Cely right now. SAFELY assume. Thank you for taking such good care of the little snortty princess. Top gear on DVR! Also the Aggie blanket is way better than that POS tied fleece Texas tech blanket cely forces bardot to use.

    • Reese's Runner

      Will you adopt me too? I want a pillow staircase.

      • Erin

        Of course. But I don’t think you would like the one scoop of plain dry cereal you would get twice a day…or going to the bathroom in the backyard. You may want to reconsider…

        And, you and Bardot are welcome for a slumber party anytime. Maybe Chris would even come and cook for us so there is something much better than cereal!

        • Christine

          I’m there…I will be your cook…but ONLY after Cely washes her feet. Pedicure not optional. AND I won’t do the dishes…just so you know.

          • Erin

            Amen sista on the feet! Don’t worry about the dishes. We’ll just line them up and let Bardot go to town. She is quite fond of the dishwasher and keeps trying to convince me she should provide the pre-rinse (lick).

  6. I got excited seeing the elephant in your pictures- I can’t imagine seeing it in real life. I may have pulled a Kristen Bell and gone all sloth-happy on it.

  7. Katie

    Walking Dead returned last night, it was nothing short of a-mazinggg :) I thought this was appropriate a. because it was last night and b. you were looking for walkers in this post.

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