Neiman Marcus will not quit catalog bombing me. I keep getting passive aggressive notes from the mailman about emptying my mailbox more frequently. I check it ever other day. The thing is, based on my SES, Neiman’s should know better than to target me. I purchased one thing from them in 2006. I tried to buy makeup, but had to borrow cash from my best friend because I’m such a backwoods peasant that I didn’t even know that they don’t accept Visa. Now I know that Visa is for poor people and that poor people are gross and should not be allowed in stores. Saleslady was not amused when apologized for my poverty.
Gerard Butler. WTF is going on? He’s gross. I think I used to find him attractive, but now I just cringe at him. Didn’t he used to be kind of hot and not such a disgusting person? Was I just blinded by the abs and the fact that portraying a beefy Spartan would make any man hot to some degree?
These do not taste as good as they appear to. I bought a bag of them thinking I would be healthy and eat turkey burgers instead of a big, thick, and juicy beef burgers. WRONG. I prepared them three different ways and could not even choke a bite down. Awful. Back to beef for me.
Apparently Matthew Crawley might not be returning for the next season of Downton Abbey. WTF is this world we are living in???? Duchess Kate has the pukes, Daryl’s life is in peril, and no more cousin Matthew??? It’s so unfair.
I’m already so annoyed by the holidays. I know, I’m awful. I’m really just super pissy because I was going to decorate this weekend in an attempt to get some damn Christmas cheer in my life (because candy canes and twinkly lights bring me unmitigated joy), but the boxes with my decorations are at the very bottom of a very full storage closet. I opened the door, located the impossibly buried red plastic bins, and slammed it while cursing loudly. Hope my neighbors weren’t out enjoying a nice day on their porches. I feel like people only operate in two modes during the holidays. This:
Everyone, just please calm down and relax. Besides, if the world does end, all the Christmas crazy was for nothing. Hanukkah craziness is merited. I really want to be happy and cheerful, but I just cannot make myself get jazzed about peppermint mochas and jingle bells. Maybe because it’s 80 degrees or because I haven’t seen any advertisements for the 12 Days of Whataburger. This could make for a very grim December.