Do you ever find yourself standing in the middle of the kitchen wondering why everything is so hard for you? Yes? Good, me too. I really love cooking, I do, but holy hell I am a mess at it. I’m impatient, always in a hurry, and totally careless. I read things too fast and get distracted. Cooking is just never a pretty process for me. Thankfully, I am good at cleaning. Still not good with using a DSLR, so please forgive me.
This weekend I decided I would make pumpkin muffins because I had a can of pumpkin in my pantry and nothing else to do. In 2008, I spent about a month addicted to Starbucks’ pumpkin loaf. It was soooo amazing and so expensive. Once I realized that I blew most of my grocery budget on bread, I decided that I needed to learn to make my own pumpkin loaf. So after trying endless recipes and variations, this one is my favorite. I choose to make them in muffin form because they are much more portable. You should make them because they are filled with sugar and butter and cinnamon. The Holy Trinity of goodness.
You will need the following blurry items:
Non-blurry varieties will work as well: softened butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, water, and pumpkin.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cream together the softened butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla.
Whip it real good.
Once it has been appropriately whipped to hell, turn off your mixer. Combine all of the dry ingredients in a bowl like this:
The recipe calls for freshly grated ginger root and cinnamon, but
Stir it around so everything is nicely distributed. The next step is to start slowly adding the dry ingredients to the cream mixture while alternating with the water and pumpkin. It’s very important that after you pour your first bit of dry ingredients in that you add some water or pumpkin on top it. Or use that plastic ingredient slide thing that came with the machine. Otherwise, this happens:
Damn you dry ingredients! Now is a good time to pour yourself a moderate and sensible glass of wine.
Sip on that and pretend you aren’t a slob.
Once you’ve yelled at your dog/child/spouse for making such a massive mess, continue adding the dry ingredients with the pumpkin and water until it has been completely incorporated and is a nice pukey orange color.
Get out your old janky stained muffin pan and spray it down with Pam or butter or whatever you find in your pantry that will prevent sticking.
Actually try to get the stuff inside the well, it works much better that way. Take an ice cream scoop or spoon or measuring cup and start scooping the batter into your greased pan.
An ice cream scoop with that little piece of metal that swoops around and dislodges the batter really makes it easy. Bake the muffins for about 19 minutes. My old oven finished them at 20 and this one is right at 19, so start checking around 17 minutes with the first batch to make sure they aren’t burning. The tops should be golden brown and firm to the touch. If it gives, keep them in there a few more minutes. Alternatively, you can divide the batter into two greased loaf pans and cook for 55-60 minutes. Once finished cooking, place them on wire rack to cool.
I store mine in a Ziplock bag in the refrigerator because I think they taste better the second day. Or just go ahead and eat them once they are cool enough to not scar the inside of your mouth. And then plan on eating a bunch more because they are quite delicious.
And yes, I did eat one. Well part of one, one that left half of itself in the muffin pan when I tried to remove it. I had to make sure they were edible before I forced them upon my co-workers yesterday.
Pumpkin Muffins
1 cup butter (softened)
3 cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
4 eggs
3 1/3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
4 teaspoons ginger
1/2 teaspoon cloves
2/3 cup water
2 cups canned pumpkin
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Cream together butter, sugar, vanilla, and eggs.
3. Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl.
4. Alternate with pumpkin and water while adding to creamed mixture.
5. Beat until well combined.
6. Pour into greased muffin pan or two loaf pans.
7. Bake for 18-20 minutes for muffins and 55-60 for loaves.
8. Cool on wire rack.
9. Consume
10. Consume again
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I think you’re a good cook. I’m not just saying that because I’m your man. You’re a sandwich artist.
I’m not sure that making a sandwich actually counts as cooking, it’s more assembly. But I can assemble a sandwich like a champ. Bitchin’ Wiches shall be the name of the shop.
Haha. Very pc. And you caaaaaan cook. You’re just spastic.
Just an FYI to you both. I am the best sandwich maker OF ALL TIME. I will come and work for Bitchin’ Witches!
Linds, it’s “Wiches” without a “t.” Learn to read, jeez. Although, “Bitchin’ Witches” would be a more accurate descriptor if you and I are the ones running that place. Come try our new rosemary ciabbata served with a large side of attitude and big slice of jerkface. Made fresh daily.
You have quite the imagination
Good thing my sandwich making skills surpass my reading skills. But yes, maybe we should just call the place “Bitches Serving Wiches”
I can be the sexy host, who seats people.
I will be the bartender :)
And this will be the story of those idiots that drank all of their profits and went bankrupt in two months. At least it will be fun.
That won’t happen because I would be in charge of the money. Not Sonja, LindsEy, or you. Women + money + booze = Style Network reality show waiting to happen. Oh nevermind, that’s real housewives…….
Well I am looking to find a visual medium where I can broadcast my tacky alcoholic ways to the nation. You’ve solved problem.
Also you can’t manage the money because you’d waste it on tequila or a basketball team. And yes our sandwiches will be that popular.
Waste it on tequila or a basketball team? Really hmm…Let’s compare bank accounts for fun! OR should I remind you, I’m the reason you can be a stay at home mom ? Oh……..yeah… MY INVESTMENT CHOICES HAVE BEEN SOUND WOMAN! I have yet to regret my business choices. I do regret my past hair choices though.
I just rolled my eyes so hard I have a headache now. Take it down a notch Señor Awesome.
You should probably regret a few personal choices also.
What choices would those be miss Lindsey? And Cely.. I’ll make your headache go away. Cause I gots a surprise!!!! Foooor yooou.
Now I feel lazy because I just buy Pumpkin Muffins from the store lol :(
If my store had good pumpkin muffins, then I would certainly just purchase them. No shame Kathy, no shame.
Yum, Thanksgiving breakfast! And I just got that wine. There was a rebate tag on it and I got a $3 rebate. I hope you got one with a rebate tag on it.
Oh you know it! All of my wine choices are 100% driven by coupons.
Thanks! Bet they are even better with a few chocolate chips.. mmmmm
Brilliant. Kroger sells these pumpkin/chocolate chip muffin tops that are quite a bit of trouble. Can’t type more, gotta go grate some ginger.
Thank God we don’t have a Kroger. And enjoy that fresh ginger Dave! I hear it’s the bomb.
Thank you for saying that no one has time for fresh grated ginger. I HATE when bloggers are all “Oh just buy the fresh stuff! It’s SO much better and so worth it.” dude, what world do people who grate their ginger fresh live in? Really.
It’s like garlic. I would just LOVE to spend all day mincing it, but really, you can buy a jar of it pre-minced. Why spend all that time???
I am a little disappointed — you left some empty room at the top of that wine glass.
Because I ran out of wine?
That was one of two acceptable answers. The other was “my friend was crying and I had to give her some”. I am a bit concerned about your emergency preparedness plan though, if you don’t have extra wine in the house, plus a backup corkscrew.
I used to like you. I thought if we met we could be friends. And then I find out you are that skinny co-worker who bakes fattening things and forces them on others. Why would you do that, WHY?!?!
Well I don’t walk around forcing it on people. I just place it in a common area and let people eat them if they so wish. I personally hate the forcers, WHY HAVEN’T YOU EATEN ONE OF MY CUPCAKES?? Back off bitch, I will later.
Oh, that’s ok. I have willpower to stay away from those areas. Where I work I have the crazy people who walk by with food in hand saying “you need to have one, I can’t have these sitting around”. Here’s an idea, don’t make them. I’m trying to fit into my pants and currently they will not button. I don’t need your cake/pie/cookies/brownies unless you are going to get approval from HR for my PJ pants acceptable work wear.
You need some “My Drunk Kitchen”. Here you go:
http://youtu.be/qTyotI3IHFQ
Hahaha, how are you just now sharing this?
Holy crap, that’s funny. I like her pegboard pan.
O.M.G. She is hilarious!!!
she’s annoying….maybe it’d be funny if I was drunk too.
Would Sonja’s “gangnam style” dance party be funny to you if you were drunk? ‘Cuz it was pretty damn funny to everyone on Saturday night…
watching you dance would be hilarious to me in GENERAL. Drunk or sober.
I never use that plastic attachment, I actually make more of a mess when I do! That being said, those muffins look amazing and I may have to make some now, thanks for that.
Yeah, the one time I used it I made an unholy mess. Maybe I just don’t understand how to use it properly? Oh well, good to know I’m not alone.
I’ve spent about 2 months addicted to it… there’s a starbucks right near my work… too convenient. too good. I did make one of the box mixes from Duncan Hines or something like that of a pumpkin loaf… reallyyy good. One box = less than the price of one slice… and it makes 2 loaves. NOM.
As for ginger/cinnamon grating… go get yourself a micro plane, you will be amazed… You’ll even start grating your parmesan cheese. It’s so easy to use (and clean)…
Talking about “grating”… it happened (recently) at work that I misused that word and use “grinding” instead. Because, well, for me it sounds the same (remember my first language is French)… I’m sure you can imagine my (english speaking) coworkers faces. I’m not going to misuse this word again but it will always make me think of that!
Ahhhhh, you brought out Sweet Brown! “Ain’t nobody got time for nothin’” I love that lady, whenever I need a pick me up & look at that video. Muffins look delish as does the wine!
I’m making pumpkin bread pudding for Thanksgiving, using pumpkin bread as the bread. I just used the word “bread” way too many times in that sentence. Anyway, pumpkin bread is delicious and I’ll try your recipe.
“Aint nobody got time for that.” Love that woman.
mmmmmmm, I LOVE Beau-jolais Villages! The ’09 was my fave but unfortunately I think I’ve used up the entire stock in the Shreveport area :(
I randomly found an ’09 a few months ago and screamed with joy in the middle of the grocery store. Sadly there was only one, and it is long gone.
I hope to buy your cookbook soon. I’ll be saving my pennies.
Hmmm. These look like normal size muffins. Now that I have a Costco membership, I don’t settle for anything less than a muffin with 1000 calories.
I have so much respect for your standards.
That’s good because my low standards have caused me to lose respect for myself.
I think anyone who puts a 1000 calorie minimum on a muffin has their life together.
Looks delish! I spill flour everywhere too. Clumsy addicts unite! Flour Power!
You know… green apples make really good pumpkin muffins… I don’t know if you knew that or not… SEE YOU TOMORROW!!!
Why the hell would I put apples in a muffin? It’s like you don’t even know me. See you tomorrow :)
Like applesauce?
You should start a food blog, you make me feel better about my baking now because my kitchen always looks like it’s vomited flour and spices when I’m done with anything in the kitchen. Also, I think the bluriness adds character, that’s how my food always looks when I’m drunk cooking too so I relate better.
Im glad I’m not the only one who can’t keep it together when it comes to baking, I feel your pain! These look delicious! I’ll have to try em out!
why haven’t you frosted these? Cream cheese frosting. I’m disappointed in you.
Because I hate cream cheese. I know, I’m a bad person.
There are about 12 too many ingredients in this recipe. Surely they would taste as good without most of that, hence leaving less time for measuring and more time for drinking wine.
I think you could skip most of the spices and just put in like 1/4 cup of cinnamon.