It is so easy to be lazy. So easy. And the more lazy I am, the more I can’t see any way out. In this instance, lazy is pretty specifically in relation to making an effort at life outside of work. For the last month or so I’ve been generally apathetic about life. Not really caring about anything. Making little effort to exercise and even less effort to eat in a healthy and consistent manner. Just couldn’t be bothered to care. Last week it all came to a head and I felt like I was on the precipice of just giving up (not doing anything deadly, just really committing to not caring about my body). And I was sad.
On Halloween night I laid in bed completely and totally ill. I actually thought I might die at several points because my stomach hurt so badly. Despite the fact that eating an insane amount of candy and chocolate had led to said death-like state, my brain was still doing this:
I was laying there with my fingers and lips covered in Tums dust, trying not to vomit, completely sure I was on the verge of a sugar seizure, and all I could think about was how I wished I had more candy. Then I started wondering if we would still have a bunch of candy at the office the next day. Then I started fantasizing about Christmas candy and then Valentine’s candy and then back to Halloween. Suddenly, an entire year of my life had passed by in one sugary rush.
Then it dawned on me that if I felt this way and thought that much about alcohol, I would be in rehab. So, I realized that I’ve gotten out of control over the past few weeks. What is disappointing is that since living on my own, I had been really good about dialing down the consumption of sweets. I was at the point where I had a normal and reasonable amount of candy once or twice a week. Sometimes not at all.
I enjoyed candy or a cupcake or doughnut or sweet anything if was something I didn’t find often or is truly delicious. So I enjoyed a piece of homemade chocolate cake, a Reese’s Big Cup (which are not that easy to find outside of gas stations), or a chocolate cake doughnut with chocolate glaze icing from Shipley’s when they made their rare appearance at work. I didn’t waste time on Tootsie Rolls or Kit Kat bars.
Haha sorry, that made me laugh really hard.
Anyway, so last week I decided that I would take a break from sugar to reset my body and get back to eating sweets rarely. I did this when my peanut butter habit (only jars of peanut butter, not candy with peanut butter in it obviously) got out of hand and I can happily report that I now eat peanut butter in the prescribed amount again. The weeks leading up to Halloween were a bit of a sugar shitshow. I mean just mindlessly grazing on candy for most of the day. Eating any sugary treat that I laid eyes on and having endless Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. For weeks. There is no doubt that added sugar is not good for you. And you can save your “but a little bit of dark chocolate is!” for the birds. I’ve consumed enough dark chocolate to keep my heart pumping for the next 700 years.
So, I will not be eating anything that can be classified as a sweet or dessert (candy, chocolate, pastries, doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, pies, cakes, pancakes/waffles/french toast (because syrup is mandatory), cookies, Nutella, cereal made for children, honey… gah the list of the good stuff is long) for the rest of November. Today would be one week without sugar if Laura hadn’t forced me to eat cookie dough last weekend. I mean, she held me down and made me. I take no responsibility.
That’s a lie, it was all my fault. I make bad choices when I drink. Gonna take that down a notch too. I am also not going to have a candy binge or sugar festival on December 1, the point of this is to not slip back into my old and evil ways.
I’ve also been running this past week and it’s been kind of wonderful. The half-marathon I was planning on in December is not happening since it is at the same time I will be at a conference for work. Learning > running. But, it has been really nice to just run whatever distance I feel like. Kind of freeing and far less stressful.
So between now and India, I’ll just keep running and lifting weights. Or swimming. Or doing whatever the hell I feel like, but definitely doing something every day (even if it’s just a long walk). I have noticed that I’m a bit cantankerous and hateful when I don’t exercise. It’s not like studies have shown that exercise can improve your mental well being or anything. Anyway, I think I’m going to be okay.
DOES IT??? Huh Maria?
`
I also just had to rein in my candy/dessert consumption because it had spiraled out of control to every night of the week, so I get your month long abstinence plan. For me it works to only eat dessert on the weekend, and only make/purchase on dessert that I have to share with my bottomless pit husband so it doesn’t spin out of control. I need strict rules when it comes to sugar!
I read this whilst still laying in bed at 6:30PM and it both made me feel worse AND better. I have been sick on and off ever since I moved to Sri Lanka 3 months ago, which is massively inhibiting my ability to exercise (aka go to the gym, since running outside is impossible). My natural response to the situation? I am living on sugar and laying around like a slob. Today I ate: honey on toast; orange juice (straight from the bottle); 2 packets of m’n'ms; a packet of gingernuts; a tube of Mentos; a packet of crisps. I hate my addiction to sugar (or carbs that mimic sugar) but I have zero interest in eating anything else (occasionally I add grapes to the line-up because they are just like sweeties). I don’t know how to stop! Help! It’s all I want… sugaaaaar…
So yeah, makes me feel a little less lonely and mis, knowing someone else is out there suffering from sugar addiction too — thank you for this post.
PS – I don’t even have Halloween as an excuse, as it hasn’t been celebrated here. I’m not sure how I feel about this.
Yikes, being sick is awful. I definitely don’t exercise when I don’t feel well. Also, I really like your blog and will be stalking you from now on. *creepy wave*
wah really! I haven’t been updating recently cos I feel so sicky-sorry-for-myself… I will try and live up to the stalking.
I expect no less.
I’m going to join you on your quest to abandon sugary substances. I fear the Christmas cookie table at my family holiday parties every year. Not to mention I usually am stuffing my face with sweets just to avoid talking to my family (their baking doesn’t taste that good). Thanksgiving and Christmas will be sans sugar overload for this girl! Thanks for the inspiration!!!
Awww! Isn’t that awful when you realize you are eating cookies that aren’t even that good? Tragic that someone ruined cookies and tragic for getting back in your pants the next day. Good luck lady!
This could have been written by me! The candy, the drinking…. the bad choices…. the peanut butter…..
I’ve made a pact with a friend to only have a *reasonable* amount of alcohol when she is around, and not drinking alone during the week when the husband goes to bed. And then eat an entire box of Cheerios. Because at that quantity, they are anything but cheery.
Good luck! The “somthing every day” is a much better outlook then forcing yourself to do something you’re not feeling =)
Hahahha “they are anything but cheery” made me laugh so hard. Goooooood damn point. And yes, let’s try not to drink alone, it gets kind of depressing right? Good luck!
I think we may be living the same life. I’ve been nursing a broken and bitter heart with candy, red wine, all types of baked goods and more candy. I applaud you for taking a month off. I wish I had your willpower. Godspeed!
I’m sorry Betsy, that is painful. Breakups are the worst! I’m the wrong person to give advice, but I think wallowing in food and wine as a way to cope is a perfectly acceptable plan. It will get better eventually and you will find your will to live again. Probably. Usually. You just gotta be careful that when you come out of it your clothes still fit, otherwise that’s a whole other path of misery.
I just had some Skittles for breakfast, so I think I’ll take over where you left off until you’re ready to (wo)man up with the candy again.
Don’t worry, I’m still eating all the fatty fatty Texas food in your absence. So, we both lose this one. And damn, good choice with the Skittles. Those are little pellets of perfection.
I’m impressed that you can just go cold-turkey like that. As soon as I tell myself I can’t have something, it’s all I can think about and I end up having more than I would have in the first place!
Well, if I have a little then I’m going to have a lot. It’s really a miracle I’m not a full-blown alcoholic as well. If I know I can’t have it then the fact that it is not even an option keeps me from eating it. If I can have “a piece” of chocolate candy, you might as well give me the entire bag. It’s so crazy how different we all are about stuff like that.
I have been feeling the same way on the exercise. But I think it is just burnout. I have no desire to run right now. So I am trying not to force it and doing other things. But I hate the idea of losing my running fitness too. I don’t want to have to start over.
The Kidless Kronicles
Well congratulations on exercising enough to actually experience burnout.I have no idea what that must feel like. I get no greater joy than from a 3-4 mile run. I feel fantastic the entire time and when I finish I don’t feel like I got hit in the knees by a sledgehammer. Maybe you can find a shorter distance that is still enjoyable while keeping your running fitness?
I totally get this. Earlier this year I had to go on a maple syrup break because I was eating waffles, pancakes, or french toast as my bedtime snack almost every night. It was ridiculous. And I’m also going on a sweets strike for the rest of the month (well, ok, til Thanksgiving) because of similar reasons.
Hahaha maple syrup is the devil!!! I’ve so been there. Good luck! I’m going to *try* to not eat dessert on Thanksgiving, but we will see what kind of pie shows up first…
My main Thanksgiving goal is to just eat ONE dessert, instead of the normal 3 pieces of pie (we have pumpkin, apple, and chocolate pudding each year). Unfortunately I love all pie.
I think I have a sugar addiction, too. I have to be really careful with what I have around me or it can be a really slippery slope. Sadly, my daughter hauled in about 20# of candy for Halloween. Chocolate calls to me constantly so I had to get it out of my sight.
Good luck with your Nooovember!
I have been like that about ice cream. Why do I eat so much ice cream? I blame my husband for keeping it in the house. Last night we talked about night time eating and we are considering a break up. We need to stop eating a little “something sweet” after dinner. Kitchen CLOSED! Please note that my husband has a long lean amazing body with no body fat, so there is a 50/50 chance he brought it up to encourage me to stop.
Yeah, that’s hardly fair. Well, at least he brought it up in a kind way instead of the accusatory “you eat too much at night.” At least he’s smart right? I’m sure that intelligence has nothing to do with his acceptance into a top MBA program. Nothing at all.
Same here. I weighed myself at the end of October after having not weighed myself for a while AND a month of too many pumpkin PB cups. *insert dramatic music* I have to stop eating chocolate every day. I don’t overeat, but I rely on it for snacks instead of something healthy!
Good luck!!
That’s exactly what I was doing. Instead of an apple and peanut butter in the afternoon, I just grazed on Smarties and Reese’s. Not a ton, but a few. And a few candies every day for many many days is bad news bears. It just happens so fast doesn’t it?
Good for you. I think you make an excellent point about candy consumption being like alcohol. I have often thought I have the same unhealthy attitude about food as an alcoholic has about drinking. However, you can’t just stop eating. So, it’s tricky. But I’ve found myself in the same place lately- and it’s SOOOO easy to use the pregnant excuse to eat whatever. I mean, everyone expects the pregnant woman to eat 2 or 3 cookies or pieces of cake.
Anyway, I support you and am a little inspired. There is nothing about being pregnant that says I can’t give up sugar as well…. so maybe I’ll try it too :-)
Also, I’ve been feeling the same way about running. I just run however much I want, take walk breaks, and don’t worry about running such and such miles each week. And you know what? I like it again. How about that? :-)
Stay strong sugar free sister!
Well, I think we deserve a giant high five for not getting dessert on Monday. That merits an award or something. And I really want to catch you in the rec center one day running and holding your stomach.
No Sugar November! I should have hopped on this Nov 1. I will totally join you in this exercise :)
Haha, I needed to have a drinking intervention with myself after having off work a couple days from Hurricane Sandy. Things were going well until I realized we still had leftover Halloween candy in the house….
I really am not a big fan of sweets, ice cream, candy etc (I know-WHO AM I?) but I find that when I do eat them, like at Halloween, I crave them. I don’t even really like the taste, it’s just the craving for sugar. So I definitely support your goals-the less sugar you eat, the less you will want to eat it. And working out encourages healthy eating too (as you know). Rock on!
You know we are the very exact same on the eating and drinking choices, so I commend you for both being honest about it and doing something about it :) Because I know excactly how hard it is. You will rock this challenge, Friend!
I head you had an exciting morning! Congratulations!
Thank you! I was sooooooooooo excited; I (obviously) couldn’t contain myself :)
Well, I would be more excited for you if I didn’t get that info second-hand. RUDE Sonja, RUDE. If anyone can appreciate that kind of victory, it is me. Anyway, I’ll get over it I guess.
Awww; I’m sorry :( I didn’t know if you’d appreciate a text at 6:30 a.m. Now I know to bother you at any hour ;)
it was 4:30 am my time… F you sonja.
Well, you responded within seconds, so you were obviously awake ;) And I can’t keep track of time zones; I barely even understand which one I’m in myself. And then Daylight Savings Time added in, then taken away… it’s a wonder I’m ever anywhere on time!
Because Linds woke me up. I actually was half awake because I wake up around 4 am to say good morning to miss Beautiful Cely. We have a tradition that she always wakes up with a message from me saying goodmorning, so no matter what time zone I’m in. I will always wake up to do that. BUT still.
Do you need my address so you can ship away all that leftover candy? I will take one for the team.
Doesn’t candy mess with breast milk? Or is that alcohol?
Wow. I’m glad you’re a man and not in charge of breast-feeding anyone.
well that is just rude.
Isn’t it funny how your body is always there to let you know when you exaggerate. For instance, I always get sick right after Christmas time : every freaking year I end up with a pharyngitis. My body’s way to force me to rest. And every year I do the same, attend as much parties, drink as much alcohol, eat copious amount of cheese and fatty meals and do not get enough sleep. It’s like I will never learn. But you know, I think I’d feel even worst if I wouldn’t attend all the parties, restrict myself from eating the food and drink water… I wouldn’t be happy. I guess everything is about balance.
Balance doesn’t have to be a everyday or everyweek thing. Why not allowing us to a splurging week sometimes? If we see balance as a life thing, verything will balance out anyways. :)
So…everything in moderation…including moderation.
I guess.
I think that I have 3 points here :
1) It’s normal that our bodies reacts to “abuse”
2) It’s ok to abuse sometimes, as long as it makes us happy
3) I am not suggesting a lifetime of abuse. But to relative the occasional days of splurging on the course of a mainly healthy lifetime.
Agreed!
I am 7 months pregnant right now and my sweet tooth has been crazy. I am trying to cut down but don’t think I will be able to give it up entirely. Well I could, but I don’t want to!
I too have a severe sugar problem. My doctor, who is a venomous bitch with no regard for her own life, decided to cut all sugar, gluten and corn from my diet.
Oddly enough, after a week i didn’t miss it. After 6 weeks I was 15 lbs lighter. Then I went on vacation to Costa Rica and fell off that wagon.
Now all I want is chocolate. CHOCOLATE IN MY BELLY.
Needless to say, I have to get back to that stupid, miserable gluten/sugar/corn free way of living again. I have no choice. There’s only so much sugar I can consume before I am a danger to society. Plus I work in NYC, you can’t imagine the amount of people I want to hurt on a daily basis when I’m sugar-less.
http://blog.fooducate.com/2012/03/15/food-and-the-brain-is-sugar-addictive/
Eff our lives.
I’m doing the same thing! No sugar between Halloween and Thanksgiving. Mostly I need to kick my dependence on the stuff, but I’m suffering from a condition known as Jiggle When You Run syndrome and it’s quite awful. Oh, and the dietbet that I’m in. MONEY IS ON THE LINE, PEOPLE!
You have the traits of an addictive personality? Never would have guessed that. and that’s not sarcasm. Just remember that crack is whack. I also have quite the addictive personality (smoking, cheeseburgers, beer) and have stayed off of the rock so far.
Oh yeah, when I like something I looooooooooooove it. A lot. I typically obsessively love something or hate it.
Me, too… Just ask our friend :) Sometimes I love him… other times… I suppose I still love him, I guess… mostly. I have a feeling that’s mutual ~ lol!
Good for you!
And WTF is wrong with someone that they would eat a KitKat that way?!?!
I eat Kit Kats that way. And you should see me eat string cheese! It angers people. Pull ‘n Peels, too. I do it all “wrong.” But I swear it tastes better :)
I just eat the string cheese like you eat a banana. I don’t have time for that “stringing” and peeling nonsense.
I love you Cely. You basically just summed up the last few months of my life. It is like I haven’t cared anymore, I am just eating whatever with no thought to being healthy. Probably it would have been considered binge-eating. And I too had a few days of laying in bed hating myself. I also had a turning point, and mine was with the start of my new job. I haven’t done anything drastic (yet) like totally cut out sweets…but I have been eating wayyyy better this week and I have actually been exercising. I already feel a million times better and happier and MOTIVATED. I think that is the word that sums everything up for me, I just feel so damn motivated! I haven’t in a really long time so it feels foreign to me. But there is a passion burning deep within my loins for life right now (just this week, last week I hated everything.
Anyway, just know you’re not alone. We can support each other in our sugar coma recovery.
Deep within your loins? You need to get laid chick. Maybe you should look up one of those lumber jack’s on your playing cards and give them a ring a ling. Anyway congrats on your new job, thanks for not waking me up at 4:30am…not.. you and SONJA both woke me up at 4:30 am with random shiz. Now cely has to deal with cranky Justin. GOOD JOB.
Oh how I love a grumpy man. Said no one ever.
You know what, fellow? Turn your IM notification off. Although, if Seals had awaken you at 4:30 a.m., you wouldn’t be bitchin’ about it… just sayin’…
because she’s my girlfriend? If she wakes me up at 4am then she’s obviously needs me for something.
If I’m awake at 4 a.m. it’s either because I’m hungry or the world is ending. I do not like 4 am. Ever. For any reason.
PS: If any of y’all wake me up at 4, it better because you are dying and need someone to call 911. Make sure you send me the physical address of the location at which you are perishing as well.
Why wouldn’t I just call 911 myself? Unless there was an intruder in my home, from whom I was trying to stay quitely hidden away. Then it would come in handy to message y’all to make that call for me. I could mass text everyone I know and hope that ONE of them took me seriously… Although, now I’m all worried ‘cuz my now phone doesn’t make it easy to mass-text like my last one did… I can barely figure out how to end a call without needing to take my battery out to get it to turn back on (I’m not being dramatic; this happens quite frequently). Thanks for making me question the very survival skills I thought I could depend upon :(
And awww Sonja hahaha the getting laid. I will lay you!
“Loins” does not mean any sort of specific sexual region or anatomy. It’s the lumbar area of the back and the corresponding stomach side. Kind of between the pelvis and bottom of the rib cage. Her loins can burn without her needing to get laid.
She still needs to get laid
We all do, in fact. She actually probably has the best chance of all of us… that’s depressing for me, specifically :(
Thank you for this.
Does Linds have the same time as me in Canada?? Wait. No. That wouldn’t matter… would it? If it’s 6:30 here, 4:30 at Justin’s, and Linds also messaged at 4:30 his time, it could still be a different time in Canada, I suppose. See? I really am bad at time zones. I don’t even understand how a tv show can be on at 2 different times, yet still on at the same time… why not just have it on at all the same time, even if that makes the times different in those zones? That makes sense, even though it’s wordy…
1. Linds is Eastern Time so 7:30 am
2. If I wasn’t traveling so much Cely would have the best chance of getting some love
3. You’re confusing me with your tv time zone thing….
4. I’d probably send 911 to the wrong place.
Justin, how is anyone supposed to keep up with what time zone you’re in?! I have no idea even what part of the world you’re in right now. You are a travelin’ man. It was 7:30 for me, and that is fair game.
Also, just wait for the surprise I’m sending you at 4:30 am tomorrow.
Few things…
1. I too have been out of control. That’s bad news for this weekly-weigh-in-weight-watcher. I’m dreading the judgmental scale I will be stepping on tomorrow morning. It’s so rude.
2. I forgot about Shipley’s, so thanks for that. I lived in Arlington for 10 months and that place was one of the perks.
Maria always knows best… have faith! I mean, don’t you get through massive terrifying thunderstorms by singing to yourself about girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes?
I get incredibly crabby when I don’t work out at least a few times a week. And I pretty much require sugar everyday. I don’t know how these Paleo people do it.
Sometimes you read my mind you know. Just last weekend I had a meltdown about my eating habits. You know, while damn clearing out the leftover Halloween mini chocolate bar bowl. I had been surviving on Pumpkin Spice Lattes, McDonald’s french fries, candy corn, and Corn Pops for damn near a month. Then gee for some reason I snapped. I feel your pain and I support your sugar-free plans. I will salute you with my bag of grapes and quinoa salad.
Dude – good one! It is tough, but worth it. I have also been trying to get rid of the sugar and crap in my diet lately. I thought that when I moved to Bangkok in July, it would be nothing but tons of healthy, fresh food, but it turns out that Thai food is pretty loaded with sugar/salt/fat/MSG. After three months of insanity, I am starting to cook again, and it feels good. I can’t quite kick the chocolate habit, but one thing at a time.
Must be the time of year. I’ve been ona sugar craze myself & was thinking about doing a sugar “detox”. Thanks for the motivation!