There are so many damn mosquitoes. Every where. All the time. My legs are arms are covered in bites from my run last night. Absolutely covered. WTF whyyyy is this already happening!!! They are in such large swarms that Bardot and I went through one the other day and she actually was gagging on them. It was a bad day.
A female dentist in Poland is facing three years in prison after pulling out all of her ex-boyfriends teeth during a routine dental surgery. WTF was he thinking going to visit the woman he just dumped for dental surgery?? I don’t think she should be held accountable for his poor decisions. I still see an ex occasionally cycling by the bay and it takes everything I have no to just gently nudge him into the ocean with my car. It would be in the best interest of humanity if he just disappeared.
There are giant cannibal shrimp casually invading the Gulf of Mexico. WTF!! That thing is terrifying!! How did you get here!!!
If that thing touched me while I was swimming I would die. That is disgusting. *shudder* Between cedar, fire ants, feral hogs, nutria, and Africanized Bees, Texas does not have room for anymore species. WE ARE FULL.
Before a run, while Caroline and I are waiting for our Garmins to find satellites, we like to have a dance off. The longer the watches take to load, the stranger the dancing gets. Last night as we did the Carlton, we looked at each and realized that we are going to be alone forever. No one on earth can handle this severe level of weird. I don’t know WTF is wrong with us, but we have to get this under control quick.
If she was covered in Oreo crumbs it would a regular Tuesday for me.
After nine years of gestation, Jessica Simpson has given birth. WTF will she talk about now?
One of my friends just got back from Hawaii (lucky bitch). At 12:23 she brought me this:
At 12:26 it was empty. Holy crap chocolate covered nuts are amazing. I don’t know WTF she was thinking bringing me back something like that. I was going to have one and naturally I ended up eating about 40. So then I had to eat my sandwich afterward to cleanse the haunting taste of chocolate from my palate. I would trade Bardot for another can of those. Not really I think, but get back to me at 2:30 pm.
I still don’t understand how that woman won $3 million in the Nutella lawsuit. Obviously if you can read, you can tell that Nutella isn’t the nutritional equivalent of an apple. WTF is so complicated about this? I don’t see why you can’t have it for breakfast. You just can’t eat the entire jar (<– guilty) every day.
Obviously it has a ton of sugar, but so do Lucky Charms and tons of other breakfast options. Syrup anyone? And honestly, I get her point with their “healthy breakfast option” advertisement, but anything can be a part of a healthy breakfast if you don’t go overboard. And that includes liquor.
I don’t really grasp how a doctor found the “g-spot” on a dead woman. WTF? How did he establish that that was the highly touted spot? I understand nerve endings and anatomy and such, but shouldn’t you um, get a woman’s opinion as to whether or not that is the fabled magic spot? If you understand this, please let me know.
Don’t they all.