WTF Wednesday

My arm is still sore from the shotgun on Saturday. This probably means I’m the biggest pansy ever. It’s been like a whole bunch of days. I feel embarrassed about this. I don’t know WTF people were thinking by allowing me to use a firearm.

Speaking of guns, oh Pippa, WTF happened here? It’s so unfortunate when you find yourself in a car full of wealthy douchebags.

Pippa also attended quite the party in Paris before the gun incident. I want to go to a fancy dress party like that. WTF? Why wasn’t I invited? I’m fun. I can stay up and party until 4 am at least once a year.

And I know it’s a theme party, but that is fugly aristocrat attire. Speaking of rich people who look fugly:

Coachella is definitely my worst nightmare. Too many dirty people. And you know what is worse than hippies? Rich hippies. WTF are these people wearing??

Seeing Vanessa Hudgens makes me want to shower and steer clear of drugs.

So, I feel bad saying this, but I do not like Angelina Jolie’s engagement ring. Not at all. It’s too much and too gaudy for me. Also, it reminds me of a 1970′s style chandelier, which I hate because I have really really strong feelings and opinions about chandelier styles.

So I know you all come here to read about me because I’m so perfect and brilliant. And 99% of the time, that is an accurate assessment of my spectacular self. So, I wanted to tell you about something I’m completely stupid about so you can feel better about yourself. Because I’m a nice person. Most days I make a sandwich using chicken (this is actually turkey as someone so kindly pointed out, I’m an idiot) lunch meat. Yes, I’m gross and disgusting and I don’t eat real food. blah blah blah. Anyway,  every time I get a new box of it I open it the wrong way. So there’s a sticker that says “bend to open” with an arrow. Every damn time I peel the sticker off and can’t figure out how to open it for several minutes before I realize I have to crack open the corner of the box. So. Frustrating. I don’t know WTF is wrong with the people who designed this thing.

Don’t you feel smart now?

And the best WTF face I’ve ever seen goes to this pug:

I cannot quit laughing. I looked at that probably 45 times yesterday afternoon. It kills me. You can see more awesome photos here.

77 Comments

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77 Responses to WTF Wednesday

  1. The look on that pugs face is priceless!
    And that is the ugliest engagement ring i have ever seen. They could afford the best ring you’ve ever seen and she’s wearing THAT.

  2. Thanks for making this shitty Wednesday morning a little better!

  3. Did you hear about Gerald Butler banging some chick in a portapotty at at that dirty hippie music festival. Now that is a lucky girl.

  4. Justin

    You know babe, this was the first year I’ve missed Coachella because of work. I am almost positive you’re leaving me now once you find out I’m a secret dirty rich hippie. I once spent a month in Hawaii surfing, and only showered twice.

    • Reese's Runner

      I don’t even know who you are anymore.

      • Justin

        Liar, you loved my shirtless beach hawaii photo. Don’t even act like I’m imperfect. Haha. Or i’ll torture you with shirtless photos all day.

        • Reese's Runner

          You are ridiculous. My eyes are rolling so hard I think they are going to get stuck going the wrong way.

          • Justin

            Okay… I will start sending you shirtless pictures …starting….meow.

          • Now, I know I don’t know what this Justin fellow looks like, but I enjoy his wit. And wit makes men pretty attractive. So I assume that you would enjoy his shirtless photos… In fact, I can’t think of many circumstances in which it would ever be appropriate to deny such an offer :( Just sayin’

          • Justin

            Hahaha I’m starting to think I picked the wrong girl. Maybe Sonja would appreciate my body and humor. ……..

          • Reese's Runner

            She’s taken. And you’re just lucky I even talk to you. Don’t forget it.

          • Justin

            Oh I’m lucky? Woman you make me laugh. My life would be less complicated had I not found you. But it’s because of how you make me feel that keeps me hanging around for the abuse. So you should feel lucky!

          • Umm…. I can EASILY be “not taken…” It’s pretty much a day-to-day sort of deal when we aren’t pissing each other off. Soo…. ;)

          • That is hurtful. I have crossed eyes, you know. I have been wearing bifocals since I was two. I bet you feel pretty bad now, huh? You should. So badly that you should post pics of Marshall Mathers on Monday just for me… like an apology ;)

          • Justine

            Wait. Justin is MINE; back off.

  5. I’m still kind of shaking at the thought of giving you a gun. And my quads are still sore from the half on sunday, that’s also quite embarrassing. I must need to work on my conditioning? Because I’m not used to running? geez.

  6. Yeah, that ring is ugly, and not even slightly classic. Bad choice Brad, bad choice.

  7. That’s the first time I’ve seen the ring. I avoid Angelina when possible because she annoys the crap out of me. But I agree, it’s fug. They were trying too hard when they custom designed that one.
    It makes me sad that something that expensive is that ugly.

  8. Misty

    I think I read somewhere that Brad designed that ring. Once again confirming he has terrible taste. But he hasn’t showered since his wedding day with Jen so I probably should have realised this sooner.

    Pugs make me nervous. I always think they are either going to go into respiratory failure or their eyes might pop out.

  9. Annie

    The ring seriously looks like something
    Michelle Pfeiffer’s character in Scarface would’ve worn during her coke binges.

    Doesn’t Vanessa Hudgens look like that (dirty hippie) pretty much all the time, anyways?

    • Reese's Runner

      EXACTLY. That is such a spot on description of who should be wearing that ring. And yes, Hudgens does look pretty hippy dippy most of the time, but she really takes it up a notch at this festival.

  10. ADR

    Coachella is why people in other countries think we’re all douchebags.
    We refer to those “rich hippies” where I’m from as “trustifarians”. Yeah, you totally have me convinced you want to live off the Earth: your dreads were made in a salon, your ripped jeans are from Abercrombie and you’re unloading your tent from your BMW convertible. GAG ME.
    And obviously, money doesn’t buy class. That engagement ring is heinous. It’s like they just packed as many carats on there as they could.

    • Reese's Runner

      Hahaha “trustifarians” that is fantastic. I don’t understand who the minds of rich people work. Exhibit A: that ring.

  11. That pug pic is priceless!! I barely even know what Coachella is. I’m that lame. Everytime someone mentioned it I figured it had to do with Coach purses….I know, embarrassed to admit I am that far out of the loop. Sounds kinda lame the way you put it too so I might not be missing much.

    The ring is not my style either. Then again wearing blood around my neck is not mine either….Ang is a strange girl.

  12. allison

    umm who is the guy in the coral shirt :)

  13. That pug picture just made my day lol – thank you for posting that.

  14. It just doesn’t sparkle. And I really don’t like them but whatever I’m sure they really care about my opinion. But the ring is better than Jessica Simpson’s Service Merchandise catalog ring.

  15. I DO feel better now that I know that your arm is sore from skeet shooting, I swear mine was sore for a week. But I’m a weak little baby too, that’s important to consider!

    • Reese's Runner

      Me too. The first time I shot I yelled “why didn’t you tell me this would hurt!!!” I was very upset.

  16. Jennifer Aniston’s ring was way prettier, this one looks like un ugly watch band. It’s kind of romantic that Brad designed it, but he should stick to acting and let jewelers do their job. Pleh.

    • Reese's Runner

      Yes. Let the professionals do their job. What ever happened to a simple band with one pretty rock on it. Why does it have to be so complicated and gaudy. We already know you have more money than God.

  17. lex

    Yeah, thats turkey, not chicken. Also, this blog is getting sickening. You know its gotten bad when there’s 17 comments on a post about how you open lunch meat. Self absorption is gross enough but was really gets me is the minions who fawn over this shit

    • Reese's Runner

      It is turkey. You’ve got me there. And yes, please read the 17 comments of which none say anything about said lunch meat.

      • It’s obnoxious when people post negative comments about the content of a blog that they made the choice to read :( Having a strong opinion about it one way or the other is simply freedom of speech and the right to express yourself, but name-calling isn’t necessary, respectful, or productive. It’s just like the people on Facebook that are annoyed that their friends post updates about their kids, pets, jobs, lives, workouts, meals, hobbies, etc. Umm… then don’t subscribe to their pages. Seems pretty simple. I am not interested in a ton of stuff. So I don’t read blogs about that stuff. And if I did, I wouldn’t knock on the people that do, or on the content. There is a little “x” in the upper right-hand corner for a reason. Just close out; problem solved :)

    • Minion

      I’m not “fawning”, I am laughing. Because what Cely writes is funny. Get a sense of humor Lex.

  18. Those hands are creepy. I guess she couldn’t figure out how to open the container of turkey, either, so she just didn’t eat her sandwich. Ever. Shotguns will kick your *ss no matter what it’s loaded with. Rifles are a bit more civilized.

  19. that ring is beyond hideous. ugh.

  20. That ring is pretty fug, and same goes for Pippa’s dress.
    I’ve definitely done the same exact thing with that stupid deli meat & eventually had to stop buying it because I would fly into a fit of rage whenever I couldn’t open it.

  21. thank you. I hate that stupid ol’ ring. which is fine, bc I’m still team Jennifer and am pretty sure I’d be really angry if I loved it.

  22. The pug looks just like his owner! Total twinsies!

  23. CJO

    that ring is horrendous… love the pug pic!

  24. What are these people wearing?

    I cannot stop laughing at that picture. Even thinking of that dogs face without looking at it cracks me up. dying.

  25. Miriam

    Hahaha thanks for the funny photos link… I love the guy faking a 6 packs… It does the trick when you don’t pay attention. I wonder if they sell a stencil for that?! lol

  26. I am in total agreement with you and Angelina’s ring. I’m sorry Brad Pitt, but even though you took the loving time and effort to design the ring and you’re surrounded by drooling women and Yes Men, someone should have told you that the ring is gaaaaaawdy!

  27. My own taste in jewelry has been called gawdy (I will assume you aren’t shocked by this news, based on your opinion of my taste in super-hot men…), but even I find Angelina’s ring to be too gawdy for me. 1) I do not care for emerald cut stones. If I am going to pay $200,000 for a diamond, I sure as hell want one with enough facets to sparkle my face off! 2) The side stones detract from the center stone and it’s really not a very flattering shape for her finger. She has rather manly hands, so she might have been better off with a band that doesn’t call attention away from its center. Would I still accept this ring from a man that I loved and want to marry? Of course I would. I would likely accept it from a random stranger on the street, as well :) And Brad Pitt must know her taste, so SHE probably loves it, which is really all that matters, of course. It’s just like Black Hills Gold to me. I acknowledge that it is nice jewelry; I simply don’t like it :)

  28. Brittany *Sparkles*

    Thank you for the laugh – this post was amazing :)

  29. Carrie S.

    That pug (actually that whole list) made my morning (and I totally saw Human Cartman last Friday!!!) Also, I’m fairly new to your blog, but Cely, you are a freakin’ delight to read!

  30. Heather

    My WTF for Wednesday is I encountered a young whippersnapper 24 year old at work who did not know who Kate Middleton is.

    I just looked at her and walked out of her office.

    • Reese's Runner

      The horror!!! My hairstylist didn’t know who she was either and I almost died in the chair. Unacceptable.

  31. I said the EXACT same thing about her ring. TERRIBLE.

  32. After giving you the bad news of Picnik leaving, I figured I owed it to you to show you a replacement (at least the best one I’ve found): http://www.picmonkey.com/

  33. You should come sit in my office. These two hipster girls went to Coachella and they can’t stop talking about how it was ‘like, so amazing, like, totally.’

    Love your post!

  34. I think Angelina’s ring is hideous. I know. I know. So happy you agree. Ha. Also, is that an Olsen twin in that first Coachella picture? I am so confused/disturbed.

  35. This summarizes my thoughts exactly. Just because you go to Coachella doesn’t mean you can become a dirty hippie. get with the times people

  36. a

    Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you know then you can write if not it is complicated to write.

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