1. I wore a light pink shirt to work yesterday. Seven people told me I looked tan. I’m never wearing any other color again.
2. It’s Easter weekenddddddddddd. Which means I need to stock up on Reese’s Eggs so I can survive the year.
I was going to make a picture of Jesus holding a Reese’s, but I thought that might be too far. So here you go instead:
3. 13 Simple Steps To Get You Through A Rough Day. Trust me, check it out. It made my day yesterday. Especially the “Be Happy You Aren’t One of These People” segment:
Or this one:
4. That picture makes me so thankful that I was not famous and Facebook did not exist when I was a teenager. Thank the Lord. But it does remind me of how incredibly angry it makes me when people scan photos from elementary, middle, and high school and tag me in them on Facebook. WTF is wrong with you! Get a job. Why do you have time for that?!?! Last week this girl tagged me in a photo from fourth grade where I had a chili-bowl cut and looked like Devon Sawa. I swear, if I see her at our 10 year high school reunion this summer I’m going to punch her in the boob.
I got the notification during a meeting and I loudly gasped and ran to my computer to get that damn thing deleted. Bitch.
5. I’m going to be out of high school for 10 years this summer. WTF happened. Crap. I need to do some cool stuff so I can seem really fun and impressive and not like my usual boring self.
6. This is the story of my life. I am so sick of men sending me free drinks, champagne, jewelry, and buying me stuff because I’m so pretty. And don’t get me started on all those women who hate me for my hotness, I know it has nothing to do with my strange and off-putting personality.
7. Guess who watched Mean Girls at 4 am? Yes me, who the hell else would I be talking about? I have been randomly waking up all week. No bueno.
8. My friend sent me this last night:
And it reminded me of when my roommates now boyfriend would drive down all the time to see her and she wasn’t sure if he liked her. He drove four hours. In a truck. It probably cost him $700. He wants to keep your forever.
9. Holy hot and spicy beefcakes Mr. Wahlberg.
10. Titanic 3D opens this weekend!! I cannot wait. It will be like all this shit since 8th grade never happened. I don’t have wrinkles, I don’t have a job, I don’t have debt, my thighs aren’t touching, and I still think getting married after high school is so romantic (<- didn’t do that by the way).
11. And if you are a Titanic spaz like me, here are 33 things you didn’t know about the movie.
12. Ryan Gosling apparently saved a woman from getting hit by a taxi. Ryan, I don’t even know where we go from here. I mean really?
I mean he’s got to be some sort of foreign intergalactic sexy space alien right?
13. Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard has opened up about her struggle with Bulimia as she tried to live up to the image of a perfect body. I wish more famous women would come forward about these issues.
14. Like 14 of you have sent me this card. I don’t appreciate it. I’m not passive aggressive at all… I don’t know what you are talking about you jerks.
15. Allegedly, Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, and Jason Sudekis are leaving SNL. Dear God. What are they going to do? This is devastating. Oh well, I don’t care, I can find something else to watch and drink to on Saturday nights. Not that I’m ever at home alone on a Saturday night drinking. Nope, not this super outgoing and exciting girl.