I have a hard time typing “Wednesday” in the title every single week. I specifically remember the first time I was taught how to spell “Wednesday” in second grade and I have been having trouble with it for almost 20 years now. WTF is that?? Willie Eats Dumb Noodles Every Single DAY. Chant it with me.
You’ve got me there Heidi. Well played.
They had these Lululemon bags at the 5K finish that had “Who is John Galt?” emblazoned on the side. I don’t shop at Lululemon because I like to keep my money, so I don’t really understand the correlation between Atlas Shrugged and a yoga clothing store. Are $80 yoga pants supposed to show us how ignorant we are and how dependent we are upon the products and creations of the 1%? If our highest purpose is our own happiness, how is that achieved through workout gear that most of society cannot actually afford (even though they may buy it)? Will I too be happy if I too can obtain a pair of Groove shorts? Please explain.
I did my taxes last night (online the free way from HR Block because I have no assets, investments, or value to society). I’m so glad that I’ve finally reached the point in my life where I’m successful enough to owe the government money. Gosh it feels so good. Here are my student loan payments, here is most of my paycheck, and here is some more money that I somehow still owe you. I need to get Mitt Romney’s tax guy so that I too can pay less than 14%. Apparently, I’m doing something really wrong here.
Or just re-enroll in school so I can get some education tax breaks.
I’m really freaked out by this new Facebook Timeline stuff. I don’t really know how to work it. I’m afraid to click on anything because I don’t want to accidentally “like” something because I only look at the pictures/profile of people I strongly dislike. Or want to fail at life. Therefore I can’t risk accidentally hitting something that then notify them of my being a creepy hater.
I just hired a student worker a few weeks ago who came to me yesterday with the crappiest problem I’ve heard in a while. Before we hired her she cleaned rooms at Motel 6 for 20 hours a week. She wanted this job because it paid more, had better hours, and didn’t require cleaning toilets (although dealing with my crazy ass may be worse). Due to restrictions on the grant she receives that funds a portion of her tuition, she can only work for 19.5 hours a week. So she went to the social welfare office and found out she was denied food stamps because she is not working exactly 20 hours or more. So I took all of the legal information down there and explained to them that she cannot legally work 20. Still denied. I cannot fathom how so many people I know who do not work at all, are not disabled, do not have children, and do nothing can get money and a person who is working cannot. WTF kind of system is that???
Don’t those welfare people know WHO I AM?!?!!?!
Mars is making all of their candy bars under 250 calories as part of their commitment to nutrition. OMG WTF SLD:KFJPSODGNIS:DLHQW(:*RY+#%Q#RH*/. All the bad words. And I realize that by eating 30 or 40 calories less here and there if you are a frequent purveyor of Mars treats might make a difference in your weight and health. BUT. Why the hell do we have to get rid of the King Sized bars???? There is nothing that makes my heart happy like an eating frenzy with a big ‘ol Snickers. Ugh, now I guess I’ll have to buy them two at a time. So inconvenient.
I fear the day that Hershey hops on this band wagon. That would be the end of my two-pack of Big Cups. A dark day indeed.
Speaking of chocolate…it’s Ash Wednesday. That means it’s time for all you Christian ladies to give up chocolate, carbs, sugar, booze, or whatever you think is making you fat for 40 days. I just know that the time you are spending not eating chocolate is spent in prayer and in penance for your sins. Not hoping for smaller thighs. Not you, skipping croissants will make you closer to Jesus.
Seriously WTF?? This makes me so ragey every year I can barely stand it. Give up something real like the TV or internet and actually spend that time reflecting on your religion.